Join KC Dempster and Ray Loewe as they explore the Luckiest People in the World Community. Learn who they are, what makes them lucky, and how they continue to be lucky even when outside challenges throw them off track. The Luckiest People in the World community is alive and ready to provide tools and support to all who seek it out. Learn more by listening today! www.theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com
www.theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com
TRANSCRIPT
This is Changing the Rules, a podcast about designing the life you want to live, hosted by KC Dempster and Ray Loewe, the luckiest guy in the world.
Ray Loewe 0:13
Good morning, everybody. Welcome to Changing the Rules. I'm KC Dempster, and I'm here with my co host Ray Loewe. But I'm not going to allow him to take co host responsibilities today because he is going to be my guest. Good morning, Ray?
Should I run in fear? No. Okay. So I'm not allowed to say anything until you prompt me?
KC Dempster 0:36
Well, okay, let me get started. I'm changing the rules, this podcast about the luckiest people in the world. And our definition of the luckiest people in the world, is that they are people who personally design their own lives, and then they live them on their own terms. And sometimes they have to change some rules in order to get it to be on their own terms. And, you know, we we identified this group of people, and to further help others along in in discovering how they can to, to can be the luckiest people in the world. We've talked about what makes them I mean, to say they design their own lives. That's sort of like the overarching thing. But then there's certain characteristics of the luckiest people in the world. And let's start there.
Ray Loewe 1:29
Yeah, you know, I think a better word for characteristics is mindset. Because this whole thing is about attitude. It's about the way you think. And if you want to think like you're unlucky all the time, guess what, you're going to be unlucky all the time. If you if you want to think about how great things are, I think that it just kind of feeds on itself and leads to other things. So we've identified at this point about a dozen mindsets, and I think we're going to go through them. And then we're going to talk a little bit about the luckiest people in the world community and what's evolving, not of us, okay, but but let's start with the whole concept of changing the rules, you know, used to do this introduction on changing the rules and why it was important. And all these rules that we used to get, why don't you kind of
KC Dempster 2:19
Right well, you know, when we're, when, when we're children, there are a lot of rules that we have to follow when they're given to us by our parents, by the schools, by the community, by our churches, or whatever. And they're initially intended to a keep us safe, and be a kind of guide us into becoming the appropriate adults that we should be. But as time goes on, a lot of times, we continue to follow those rules out of habit, or because authority figures are still trying to impose them on us, even though maybe they're not necessarily appropriate anymore. So we believe that the people who are the luckiest people in the world recognize that maybe not all of those rules are necessary for their lives. And they decide which ones can help them to continue in a positive way. And which ones are probably not so important. And they can kind of let them drift off to the side. And maybe they make even some more new rules for themselves.
Ray Loewe 3:24
Yeah. And what's important is that we all need rules. Right? Right. And the rules create the structure that we're going to operate in. And, you know, last week, we had a great guest. He was the original, Phillie Phanatic. And he was telling one of the stories about he was requested to appear in a church service Now talk about changing the rules, right,
right. And especially probably, at the time, I think, maybe was in the early 80s, or even in the whenever in at that point in time. That would have been considered an extremely disrespectful,
yeah, but but it got everybody's attention had a happy outcome, and did what the priest wanted it to do. Exactly. So changing the rules always gives us a positive outcome. I think, Well, maybe not all
Well, I guess it depends on who's changing them and how they're changing them.
So anyway, mindset number two, is that the luckiest people in the world always believe that there's a positive solution to everything. And it may not be apparent at the beginning. But if you search for it, you can always find that positive solution.
KC Dempster 4:40
Yeah, and I think that I think that a sense or an attitude of positivity kind of permeates their lives in all respects. And that's why it's so easy. Or so I don't know if easy's the right word, but but the lucky People in the World find that positive solution because they're coming in with that mindset to begin with.
Ray Loewe 5:05
And you know, a good example of that is we interviewed a young lady by the name of Ruth Kinzler A long time ago. And and and Ruth had this, this crazy medical thing happened to her she actually had a stroke in her spine, and it caused all kinds of, of issues on her being able to work. So what did she do? She quit her job and started her own business and was extremely successful. And she found the positive solution that was gonna work for her and make things happen. Right,
KC Dempster 5:33
right. Good. Yeah. It's kind of a kind of like that Pollyanna attitude, but which is not such a bad thing. Some people kind of use that in a disparaging way. But I think that having that positive outlook or looking for the positive, or the silver lining is is such a valuable tool.
Ray Loewe 5:51
Now, the next one, okay, is this the luckiest people in the world take that positive solution. And they learn from it, and they carry it forward. Now we're in this whole area of COVID these days, and everybody has been confined. But I think we've learned some things. You know, we we talked to a young lady by the name of Sky Bergman A while ago, and, and she's a filmmaker. And one of the things that she's been doing with her latest film, which is going to air on PBS soon, okay, is doing showings all over the world. And she said, I never could have done that without Zoom.
KC Dempster 6:30
That's true. I think that and here, again, is the silver lining. I mean, almost a year ago, I mean, to the day, we the world was shut down, basically. And people didn't know what to do, the businesses either had to shut down, or they had to figure out how to continue doing business under different circumstances. And, you know, there was a period of time where people were floundering. And, and I think that pretty quickly though, they started to adjust and adapt. And, and they took some of those adaptations and created a whole new way of doing business. And it's, it's really been an interesting year.
Ray Loewe 7:20
And that's what the luckiest people in the world do. Okay, now, again, last podcast we did was with the original Philly fanatic David Ramond. And it takes care of our next mindset, which is that the luckiest people in the world understand that they have the power to make themselves happy.
KC Dempster 7:43
That's true. And I know that you often say, if you're not happy, how can you make somebody else happy. But the fact of the matter is, we are responsible for making ourselves happy. And we really don't have to make other people happy. That's their responsibility. But I think that when you're doing it for yourself, it's communicating to others.
Ray Loewe 8:04
And, and, and what's important is, again, it's attitude. And it's this idea of you're not happy, you know, life isn't fun. And, and the whole idea is that there are structures to do this. We had John Freeman A while ago on on, john is a financial advisor in Kansas City, but he's also a professional clown. Right? And one of his comments was the the, the smile on the faces of others, directly proportional to the size of the nose that he puts on. So putting on the makeup creates happiness for him, which he then transmits to others. Right,
right. Okay.
Next one on the list. Yeah,
KC Dempster 8:44
I know, this is this is an interesting one. And we had a great podcast with Ashley Allen, where we explored this, the luckiest people in the world understand who they are, and how they are perceived by others. And that's something that we don't always think about. Is other is someone else's perception of me what I want it to be. And it's not to say that we should be acting, it's to, to say, what do I want to protect? And am I doing that? And if I'm not, what do I have to do in order to project that?
Ray Loewe 9:19
Oh, and if you're aware of it, you have the ability to change it. Right? And And so again, this is a matter of being able to control your life the way you want. And and this is a design factor that's built in, right, right. Okay, the next one on our list is know what you want,
right? And figure out how to get it. And sometimes you have to let something go and pick up something else.
Well, and part of this is knowing that what you want is going to change. And I think this is the misconception with this mindset. You know, there are a lot of people that get frustrated because they sit down they write out a plan. They think they know what They want and then the world changes on them. And knowing what you want is a journey. And it's always in flux. And it's always in change. And if you treat it that way, you can know what you want. And you can get it.
Right, right, you might might just have to, I hate to use this word because it's been so overused, but pivot, and maybe take a different path towards the same goal, but it's going getting there in a different way.
Now, I'm going to skip a couple of here, because they're great mindsets, but there are a couple we want to get one on. And we want to end this thing with talking a little bit about the luckiest people in the world. But lifelong use of talents, okay, you know, we're all given talents and skills that we've accrued over life. And, and I think, the luckiest people in the world tend to take that through the rest of their life in some way, shape, or form may not be a job, it may just be being kind in general, the people, it just may be creating friendships. We have some interesting people that attend our coffee and cocktail things. And there are people who are in their 80s, who have been isolated, right in their homes. And all of a sudden, they join us. And we have great conversations, right? We had a gentleman called Ajit George energy on his 65th birthday or there abouts decided that he was going to take an old warehouse, and he was going to turn it into hydroponic gardens. And then he was going to hire a bunch of people out of the prisons, because he thought people were better engaged with good jobs than being in prison for the rest of their life. Right,
KC Dempster 11:43
and that they needed a second chance. And, and, you know, these were not violent offenders. But he, you know, no matter what, when you come out of prison, there are a lot of hurdles that are placed in front of you. And he was trying to help people get over those hurdles
Ray Loewe 12:00
you know, and and, and there are two more that I want to hit over here. You know, one is, this is one that I believe in, and, and it doesn't have to be the mindset of everybody. But I believe that you ought to live in expansive life and enjoy the adventures that follow. I personally think that the world was made for us to be unique and different, and has all these wonderful things that we can do and, and we have a choice, we can stay at home, we can be happy with what we've got. And there's nothing wrong with that choice. Or we can go out and explore. And I find I travel a lot. And the more I travel, the more I want to see and it just is expanding, and I get excited about life and where we're going
KC Dempster 12:44
true, but then I'll be the opposite. I'm very happy to not travel a lot, I enjoy being at home, it gives me the opportunity to read. And that is sometimes a way of learning more and getting more exposed to what else is available. And you know, so there's different ways to look at this. And nobody should feel that they have to live someone else's life,
Ray Loewe 13:10
your mindset or the way you think when you approach a situation. And I think most of the luckiest people are going to go along with these mindsets that we've had. But there are there's the right to be different. Correct? Okay, correct. All right. Last one I want to throw out
KC Dempster
I like this one a lot.
Stop thinking about aging and start thinking about living. Yeah. I'm not gonna say anymore. Okay. All right. Okay. So let's go on now to we have this group of people now that are lucky. And we know why. Okay. And we also have something that we call the luckiest people in the world community. Right. Okay. And this is something that's evolving. It wasn't planned, per se, but it just just started to gather groups of people that were lucky and things started happening and, and the luckiest people in the community is where people come to expand and enhance their lives. Okay, and designing your life is not a one time thing. It's a journey. Correct. Okay. So, so why is this thing evolving? Okay. And I think I think there are a couple there, there are people who would like to feel luckier, and luckier and luckier, and don't know how, for example, one of the big stumbling point over here is that people try and design a plan for their own lives and don't take into account that life changes, okay? And, and so they need some coaching and some help to help them understand what's going on. And when they get that feeling, then all of a sudden, they start feeling luckier and luckier and luckier, and one of the barriers to being lucky goes just goes out of whack.
KC Dempster 14:54
Right? And another another thing that this community can can do for people is something times people might not realize that there's that they are looking for something more, like they may have retired because they were tired of their job or what, for whatever reason, maybe they were sort of forced to retire because of their industry. And they're kind of like, Oh, great, you know, I can sleep in, I can play golf, I can do all these things. But after a while, and that's great. But after a while, it starts to pet to pale. And, and then they're kind of at loose ends, like they're really not sure so. So one of the things that this community can do is that it can invite these people in or expose them to a lot of other people who are further along in the process. And, and that's kind of what we're doing with these podcasts,
Ray Loewe 15:48
even even the luckiest people in the world go into Limbo every once in a while. And, and and Limbo is when you know, your life was pretty good. And all of a sudden you get hit with something or it could be the death of family members, it can be an illness, it could be losing your job, it could be a whole other thing. And again, if you adopt the mindsets that we talk, or most of them, at least, all of a sudden, you can pull yourself out of limbo. And it's easier if you have a couple of people who help you do that. Right. Right. So so those are kind of the things that this community is designed to do. So let's talk a minute about why. Okay. So for example, I think people need planning guidance up to a point. It's, it's, it's really hard to sit down and say, I'm going to craft a plan for my life. And one of the things that we've noticed with this COVID thing is that many of us had long term plans, many businesses have long term plans, and they're out the window because of changes that get in the way. So So the question is, how do you do this? And and it's a necessary thing to do. And we're going to give you the solutions in a minute. But let me just go through this quickly. So it's a one of them is to get new and expanded ideas. Where do you go to find out what other people are doing that you might like to do? Where do you go to get some expert guided learning? these podcasts are set up for that. Where do you go to get a conversation? And I think conversation is one of the biggest things in the world that we need, and we're not getting right now.
KC Dempster 17:31
Yeah, yeah.
Ray Loewe 17:33
So what the luckiest people in the world community has done is they've done several things. Number one, we have a podcast, right. And the purpose of the podcast is to highlight some of the luckiest people in the world every week. So that we can get inspired by their lives, the path that they took, and where they are and where they're going. Correct. And we can realize that they all didn't get there the same way. And there are different ways to skin a cat. And we just need to understand that there are different ways that we can get luckier and luckier and luckier. The second thing that we do in the podcast is we try to take some tools, maybe that people don't know about that can be used to help us do this kind of a thing.
Right? Right. And that's our storytelling that we've been talking about recently. and things of that nature, yes.
Then we have something we call coffee, cocktails, and conversation. So I'm gonna let you describe this.
KC Dempster 18:40
Well, this, this is something actually that grew out of the pandemic, and grew out of the fact that Ray was being confined at home. And he didn't have a lot of people to talk to. So we started a on every Thursday, we have a coffee zoom call at 845 to 930. And we we stick to that timeframe so that people who come in know exactly what they're signing up for. And, you know, we ask people to register just so that we you know, have control the number of seats so that you can have a decent conversation. We never know from one week to the next who's going to choose to come in and who isn't. And we've had some actually amazing conversations and introductions to people that we maybe never would have met before. And then we we do it again, Thursday afternoon at 4:45 with cocktails, because sometimes people are still working and they can't do coffee. And so they but they are happy to do a little bit of a happy hour at the end of the day.
Ray Loewe 19:43
And drinking is always a good thing. So so so yeah, one of the things that the pandemic has done is it's cut conversation. You know, you don't have conversations at the watercooler at work anymore. You know, walk around the cubicle barrier and say hi to the people that are next To you, and we tend to forget how important relationships are. And there have been some statistics that came out that just show that people have lost as much as 40% of the relationships that they had beforehand, because there's no follow through,
right? So coffee and conversations is a way that we would like to do that. And by the way, anybody can find out when these are on our website on the front page, and they can register. Now, we also created a couple of events long ago, and oh, so far away. We actually had a live Friends Connection Conference. Yes. And we had it down in Center City, Philadelphia, had a great hotel, we had incredible food, we had a bartender come in and and actually craft signature cocktails for the luckiest people in the world. And for the Friends Connection. And we just had a great time, man, it was a learning experience and a networking experience and a way that you could expand your thinking, Well, that was shut down. Okay, about a month before our next conference was going to be able to Correct,
correct. So we were kind of left, like, okay, we were planning this great program. Now what?
Well, we did it virtually. So what, so we have a series of virtual conferences, we have them about every three months. And again, you know, one of the things that we learned is that people don't take the time to plan. And so the primary purpose of these virtual conferences is to get people together for an hour and a half, and learn but think about their lives. And think about where they're going. It's not a formal plan. It's not a formal planning process. But it's, it's a way that you can get some time. And in addition to that, we've got some great speakers and we usually have some entertainment, add Coffee Roasters on we've had da mix world famous Mixologist, on at the next one we're going to do we actually have a barbecue pitmaster.
Yeah. And who knows what we're going to do, but it'll be lunchtime. So the interest I
KC Dempster 22:12
everybody's going to be hungry.
Ray Loewe 22:13
Yeah. And and we will resume the live conferences when things open up, because I don't think there's anything better than being able to actually shake hands with people and, and see them up close and personal. Right. talk for a minute about the Travel our Connection. And again, this is something who got shortchanged, right, right off the bat. Yeah,
KC Dempster 22:35
the Travel Connection was a way to travel and go to a place that you've always wanted to go, but to have some interesting people that are like minded, that go along with you. And we've done we did this a couple of times, when you still had the financial planning practice where some clients went on some trips with us. And it really was a very engaging and revelatory experiences, because there was no business involved in those trips, it was purely social. So you really got to know people on another plane. And so that's kind of what we do with the Travel Connection, our trip that was scheduled for Fall of 2020, obviously was canceled. And so you know, we look forward to getting that, that going again,
Ray Loewe 23:22
it will be back. And and you know, one of the biggest things I get out of traveling with people is I get to see the world through their eyes. And they see things that are different than I see. And it expands the whole experience.
So stay tuned for information on the Travel Connection, it's again posted on our website. And when we go live again, it'll be a wonderful experience that you want to be at. The two last things on that I want to talk about kind of go together. You know, how do you get to be one of the luckiest people in the world? How do you plan? How do you do this, this kind of planning where you're not trying to plan the rest of your life and get frustrated by changes. So we have some online courses. We call them our discovery sessions, right. And I think it's time to commit to this we have a new book coming out it'll it'll probably take another quarter or two to get out physically. But it's the story of the luckiest people in the world and a story a little bit about the community. And it deals a lot with some of the great people that we've met during these podcasts and some of the incredibly interesting things that they're doing. So the whole idea is join us at the luckiest people in the world community. Join in, the more you show up at these things, the more we will all be better off.
KC Dempster 24:47
That's true. So I want to give everybody our website because that's where access to a lot of these things can be found. It's theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com Simple as that.
Ray Loewe 24:59
coming along, isn't it?
KC Dempster 25:02
Yeah, it is. And you know, we've got around about that. But hey,
Ray Loewe 25:06
okay, theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com take a look around and join us for some of these events. We'll look forward to seeing everybody a coffee or cocktails or both. Right, right. So KC we're at the end of another podcast and we have a more coming I'm not gonna tell you who the guests are next time but they're they're great.
KC Dempster 25:25
That's true. Right? Ray never tells me that far in advance who our upcoming guests are? Or if he does, I don't listen. So anyway, join us again next week for a wonderful Changing the Rules podcast with another fascinating guest.
Thank you for listening to Changing the Rules, a podcast designed to help you live your life the way you want, and give you what you need to make it happen. Join us next week for our next exciting topic on Changing the Rules with KC Dempster and Ray Loewe, the luckiest guy in the world