This week we are joined by Joe Colavito, who lives by a purpose and a promise. Joe helps people to figure out what their purpose is. He shares some incredible stories of how people living out their purpose in life help others by lifting them up. Joe shows us how living your purpose and following it with a promise, truly is rewarding. It's all about being others-focused. If you've been searching for what your purpose is, this is your chance to get started on the journey to discovering it. Listen in to find out how Joe is "Changing the Rules."
Guest Co-host: Kevin Davis: kevinkaera@comcast.net
Podcast Guest: colavito711@gmail.com
Joe's Website: https://www.gojourneylife.com/
Transcription:
Kris Parsons00:01
Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.
Ray Loewe00:15
Good morning, everybody. This is Ray Loewe. And I'm sitting here in scenic Woodbury, New Jersey, with our engineer Taylor, who's going to make sure that everything runs well today, as he always does. And we're going to be talking to a couple today of the luckiest people in the world. And if you remember correctly, the luckiest people in the world are those people who take the time to personally design their own lives. And then they live them under their own terms. And when you think about it, what could be better than to be able to take control of your own life and live it under your terms. There's no better way that I know of to make your life get better and better and better. And the name of our show is changing the rules and the luckiest people in the world often have to change a lot of the rules. You know, we've got a whole lot of rules put on us. And they accumulate from childhood all the way through adulthood, and the luckiest people in the world are able to sift through and sort through those rules and choose those that are important and significant to them. Because when you're living your life under somebody else's rules, you're not living your own life. So today, we're fortunate enough, we have Kevin Davis, co-host, and Kevin is our guest for this entire month. And Kevin and I did a couple of podcasts over the last couple of weeks. And Kevin, say hello to everybody.
Kevin Davis01:44
Ray, thanks so much for having me back. I mean, you never know after the last one, but it is an honor to be here co-hosting with you. And I'm excited about it.
Ray Loewe01:52
Oh, come on. The last one was a great podcast because you and I got a chance to talk a little bit about how the luckiest people in the world know what they want. And you know, you really can't design your own life unless you know what you want. And you and I were able to talk about a couple of these five points, and I'm going to bring up. The luckiest people in the world are able to design their own lives and to be able to float as life throws things at them. Because their lives are purpose-based. They're mission-based. They're values-based. And they're based on the excellence that they bring to the table with their skill levels. And the final thing is they kind of culminate in people being able to truly like their day. So, Kevin, you introduced me to this guy by the name of Colavito that we have on here today, a good number of years ago. And he's an extraordinary, extraordinarily interesting guy. So why don't you take a minute and introduce them to our guests, and then let's start putting him on the spot and seeing if we can get tips on how to get more meaning out of our lives.
Kevin Davis03:11
Well, super, thanks. So I'm really excited that we have Joe Colavito. With us today, Joe and I have known each other for years had the just the privilege and pleasure of working together at a company in the past. And you know, there's a lot of things I could say about Joe and his career. But maybe if we boil it all down, you know, Joe just loves people. And if you meet him, he's just one of those guys where you don't want that time to end. And I'm sure you're going to get some of that energy through the podcast today. So Joe, thanks so much for joining us today. It's great to have you here on the podcast.
Joe Colavito03:47
Hey, it's my pleasure, Ray. And Kevin, thanks for having me. And as you know, I love changing the rules.
Ray Loewe03:55
No, you love really beating up the rules, I think?
Joe Colavito04:00
Well as my old boss, who Kevin knows, yeah, Doug Buse used to say, I thought the rules were simply suggestions.
Kevin Davis04:09
They're not news to me.
Ray Loewe04:12
You know, I'm gonna have to get a t-shirt made up with that. The rules are simply suggestions. I think that's great. You know, let me start out from it. Because Colavito means full of life.
Joe Colavito04:25
Yes, it does. And some say that I'm full of life and others say that I'm full of it. Yeah.
Ray Loewe04:32
Well, both are pertinent for this podcast today. So, let's kind of get into some of the stories that you have and some of the things that you can tell us about purpose. And I think that's probably the one thing that we ought to focus on today is because I know a lot of what your firm is based on and what you do in coaching people is to help them find out what their purpose really is so start the conversation for us, Joe.
Joe Colavito05:04
Yeah, and I think that you know, for the listener, I hope that this encourages you because you have a purpose. You can know what it is. And it's already been something you've been doing. You just didn't have the words to define it.
Kevin Davis05:22
So that's a wonderful opener, Joe. Unpack that for me. You're teasing me right now.
Joe Colavito05:30
Yeah, so I'm going to start with a high-level definition, and then I'll take it down to ground level. Does that work?
Kevin Davis05:36
Yeah, that'd be great.
Joe Colavito05:37
Okay, so my high-level definition of purpose is that it's your reason for being and your built-in navigation system. So if you can clarify your purpose, you can simplify your path career in life, and you can amplify your fulfillment and impact. That's the high level.
Ray Loewe05:57
Okay, so you have some examples of that. I think you gave us a couple of stories when we were talking before. Ah, I'm gonna pick on somebody Dennis.
Joe Colavito06:08
Yeah, so Dennis entered my life. Right when COVID was shutting down the world. I was introduced to him and you can't make this stuff up by a gentleman by the name of Joe Hope. And Joe Hope called Joe Colavito. So hope called full of life, and said, Hey, got a guy that is in a bit of a tough season. He's an amazing man, loves his wife, loves his four-year-old daughter. But he senses that he's lost a bit of his purpose and value. Because right after setting up his deer hunting stand in the middle of the night, he was riding his ATV back along the same path he had gotten thereon. And he woke up in the hospital unaware that the rain had washed out the road. And he was paralyzed from the waist down.
Ray Loewe06:56
Oh, wow. And this is full of hope. Right?
Joe Colavito06:59
Well, this is Joe hope introduced me to Dennis right. And so Dennis basically is a great guy. But suddenly, the rules have changed. And the rules have not been changed by him. They've been changed by his physical condition, he can no longer do what he did, which was to scale ladders and be on roofs and fix HVAC systems. He actually Kevin was in one of the large class A office buildings in Atlanta that our former company used to own gotcha. Okay. What a small world how it comes back, right. And so here's the statement that changed everything for me, you know, and about this time last year, he literally said, so I just can't go find a job because I don't have the value that I had before. And I was able to look him in the eye virtually and say, Hey, Dennis, I need you to write this down. Your identity has not changed. Your purpose has not changed. And your value has skyrocketed. Do you know how many people are out there that needs somebody like you who's been through trauma and tragedy, but has learned to make a full comeback and experience life's full potential? How many people need you in their corner? You can do so much more for him than I can. Man, you're more valuable than I am? And I could sense him being reinflated. Yeah. So Wow.
Ray Loewe08:34
So this is what you do for people or two people. Is that correct? Joe?
Joe Colavito08:39
Yeah, I prefer four versus two. It sounds so victimized.
Ray Loewe08:43
Well, sometimes, you know, we need to be done to Okay, just because we don't see the values on the table. And, and I think values and purpose are things that you have to search and find they just don't show up all the time, the way we would like to see them.
Joe Colavito09:03
Yeah, which actually Ray a great segue, before I forget, let me take you back to the ground level definition of purpose, which is why I can confidently say that everyone has one, you can know what it is, you can clearly define it and you can live it out. Okay. So purpose is an individual's unique design to improve the status quo for others. That's it. So everyone's making it complicated. They're talking about how you have to find it, they're attaching it to their work, you know, they're misdefining purpose, which is causing them to miss the fulfillment and impact that comes from purpose. So it's just an individual's unique design to improve the status quo for others. And Dennis can do that better. Having been through that trial, then it could before.
Kevin Davis09:49
Now, Joe, what's interesting to me, is that's a very others-centered statement. It's not about me, it's about what I can do for others. And I think that's very, very powerful.
Joe Colavito10:05
Yeah, and that's Kevin you're quick and you're sharp and so is Ray, right? That's the difference-maker when I focus on me, a, it's boring, be it can be quite, you know, depressing. And you can start to just kind of corkscrew yourself down into self-pity, depending on your circumstances. But when I'm always focused on others, and I'm trying to fulfill my purpose, then all I have to do no matter what was happening in COVID is reach out to one person that's hurting more than I am, and then lifting them up. And this is a principle when you lift others up, you rise with them.
Ray Loewe10:44
So we all ought to do right, we ought to be aware of the value of others, and we ought to be aware of what we can do for others and not what we can do for us.
Joe Colavito10:57
Absolutely. But the first thing you have to be aware of is how do you show up in the world? So what is your gift? So I'll share mine just because it might help. So my purpose is to encourage everyone to experience life's full potential. Now, wouldn't that make sense given that my last name is full of life? So I just want everyone to experience life's full potential. But that's not enough having that defined? Does the world no good? Does me no, good. So what I am and you guys are we're men of action, right? So what I do is I anchor that purpose with a promise. So I attach a promise that activates it and every conversation situation. And here's my promise. My promise is to never let you settle for less. Settle for less than what experiencing life's full potential. Whoops, we just looped around, and it starts to feel like the flywheel is going Whoosh.
Ray Loewe11:49
Yeah. So give us a couple more stories and examples. You know, Mr. De shows up every once in a while in your stuff.
Joe Colavito12:00
Yeah, well, you know, Mr. D is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and actually want to thank Steve Franklin, who I believe you've got coming up on your show. In a while. Dr. Steve Franklin had this brilliant idea to go interview 100 100-year-olds. And when he realized, you know what a large task that was I begged him to let me go out in the field with a video camera. And I ran into Mr. D. So Mr. D is the only person in the world that's ever looked up to me. That's of adult age. That's for the listener. That's because I'm five foot six, with shoes on, yeah. Okay, so Mr. D, I meet him in his, you know, assisted living home, I see his 12 by 12 room, very modest. With a couple of beautiful pieces of artwork on the wall, He leads me over to the general store that actually has his grandfather's general store sign hanging in it. And I watch him basically fill out a little yellow ledger, as, as the patron start to come in and buy, you know, little supplies or a coke or a candy bar. And at the end of the day, he's got $37.50 tallied up from the general store. And I asked him, so what do you do with that? And he says, Oh, I do what I've done my whole life. I give it away. I'm like, okay, back up for a second. Tell me more about your life. And he goes on to tell me about his father who was from Cuba, and a master cigar roller, and he moved to the plant in Tampa, which is where Mr. D grew up. And Mr. D used to shine shoes in front of the cigar factory. Brown ones were a nickel, black ones were a dime, have no idea why it was different. And at the end of the day, he would maybe have you know, $1 -$1.25 in his pocket, he would take it home to his mother and give it to her. And I asked, well, didn't you buy like an ice cream on the way home or a piece of candy or anything for yourself? He goes, No, I just got so much joy by giving it to my mother. That followed him all the way through when he had his first home and too many fruit trees in the backyard to eat all the fruit. He hung it in little bags on his neighbor's doorsteps. When he painted 84 pictures, he was a renaissance man. Later on in his later life. He painted 84 amazing oil paintings. There was one left in his room and two left in the store. Yes, he'd given the other 81 away. But the most amazing part of Mr. D's story. And the reason I share this last is what I want you to learn as a listener is we all should learn something from the way that Mr. D rolled. Yeah, sure. He rolled 200 cigars every day by hand. But the way he rolled was everything he received, he gave away freely. Oh, and by the way, his cigars were pretty good. There was this guy and Kevin, I might need, I lose my memory sometimes. He hand-rolled them he put them in a box he addressed it himself and he sent them off. The guy's first name was Winston and I never get the last name right?
Kevin Davis15:05
Wasn't even English dude. Yeah, he had something to do with the war. Church something right. When I Wins, Oh, yeah, it was Winston Churchill. Oh, yeah, that Winston.
Joe Colavito15:17
Yeah. So in addition to rolling cigars for Winston Churchill, he also had a number of other famous people that would come to the back gauges to smoke one with him. And so like you, Ray, he found his joy in getting to talk to interesting people every day.
Kevin Davis15:34
That, you know, you said something in there that's so profound, you know, that he shared, he found joy in giving. Wow, I mean, that's if you think of everyone wants joy, they want happiness, they want satisfaction. And he learned early on, Joy is in way more in giving than and getting, profound wisdom there.
Joe Colavito15:59
He just reminded me of something, Kevin, I'll keep it brief. Mr. D was so talented, in addition to the oil paintings, and as he was waiting for new patrons to come in, he would take you know, the plastic bag, we all get at the grocery store that we wad up and they take over our pantry or some other container. Yeah, His hands were so talented that he could take one of those bags. And while he was talking with you, without ever taking his eye off of you, he would fold it down to the size of a cigar and it would not move. That's amazing. And I was like, blown away. So while he's doing that, I'm like, in addition to painting, you know, is there anything else you did? He goes, Oh, yeah, I built my own house. I did the electrical. I did the plumbing. He says, but I always love to sing. I'm like, okay, I've only got three minutes of tape left. What can you sing for me? And he's saying it's a wonderful world. And it literally lit me up. Like I was at a concert, I'd paid $1,000 to be in the front row.
Ray Loewe16:56
Now how old was Mr. D? Where was he in the in a span of life here?
Joe Colavito17:02
He was okay. He was 105.
Ray Loewe17:05
Amazing. And so here he was 105. And he's still doing so he can give things away.
Joe Colavito17:13
He's waking up at 430 every morning to pop popcorn. And to make coffee so that when the store opens at 730, everything will have the smell and the look that he wants it to have and he'll be ready to serve right out of the gate. So 430 to 530. He preps goes back to bed for an hour gets up, does his prayers, and opens the store at seven every day at 105.
Ray Loewe17:36
Okay, so what other interesting people have you met along the way over here? That's an open-ended question. Yeah, I can see it with Dan 100 miler.
Joe Colavito17:52
You know, Dan's a common friend of Kevin, and I probably a worthwhile conversation. Yeah. You know, when I first met Dan, Kevin, he was, you know, an internal wholesaler as you were. And it wasn't until we had relationship for a few years that it kind of came to be known that he was a crazy Dan. I mean, crazy man. He was, you know, running these 100 miles, you know, ultra marathons.
Kevin Davis18:18
Yeah, on purpose, I might add, that wasn't an accident, it actually looked for them and went out and did them. He's a nut.
Joe Colavito18:23
Actually signed up for them. And so recently, my path recrossed with Dan, and so this isn't really a story that I was there for Ray, but I think it's an awesome story. So would you mind if I shared it?
Ray Loewe18:36
Go go go, go.
Joe Colavito18:41
Okay, so Dan, in his first 100-mile race, it's called the bear 100 out in the mountains of Utah. It's just a casual, 23,000 feet of elevation change while you run 100 miles all the way through the darkness of the night.
Kevin Davis18:56
I don't think my car could do that, Joe.
Joe Colavito18:59
Exactly. Exactly. Right. So at the 18-mile mark, he's running on his own, it's been much harder than he thought it was going to be the elevation changes early and they're trying to get people to drop out if they don't have the endurance to stay in it. And here's footsteps behind me turns around, and a lifelong friendship is created. The quick version of that story is Fad Gillum runs up behind Dan Wilkins. There's 80 runners in the race from all over the world. And Dan says go ahead and pass me and Fad says No, I'm good man. And Dan says, No, seriously, you're younger, go ahead and pass me and Fad says what's going to become a legacy-making statement? No, I like the pace you're running at. By the time that race ends, they've been lost in the woods because some hunter took pink ribbons off of the trees because it was ruining his elk hunt. And they find their way back onto the path. They finish in 28 hours, 15 minutes, and 13 seconds hand in hand photo finish so they could experience the victory of kind of winning at the same time. Okay, fast forward the tape they now host a race called Hell and back. And Dan just let me in on this private story. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it. He's at the 60-mile mark. Fad is not running in this race, even though they typically run these together ever since that moment, you know, several years ago, and Fad shows up unannounced at the 60-mile marker. Dan is hurting. He takes Dan's shoes off, he takes his socks off. He pours cold water over his feet, he dries his feet, he puts new socks on new sneakers on. And then he says Dan, I'm going to be your Pacer for the last 40 miles. I'm going to run the race with you. All right, let me fast forward, what we do is we teach people how to live and work on purpose. And the first step is you've got to go back through your trials and your triumphs within the context of your identity so that you can get to a purpose that is clearly defined. That could only define you It couldn't define anyone else in the world, because there's only one of you. And here it is you ready. This is Dan. My purpose is to be a pacer for others to run with endurance toward joy. Because only an ultramarathoner who has created a race called hell and back would know how to do that. And his promises to always remind you why you entered the race. So let me just play that out real quickly for you guys. Hey, Dan, I'm struggling with Debbie, it's over. I'm going to get a divorce. How do you fulfill your purpose? He says, Well, first of all, I remind you that you know, a marriage is a race. Your career is a race, parenting is a race, everything's an ultramarathon. It wasn't supposed to be easy. So run with endurance toward joy. And I see Yeah, that's nice, Dan, but I'm still going to get the divorce papers, I'm calling the attorney. And he says, Hey, let me keep my promise to you. I'm always going to remind you why you entered the race. Tell me, when you first met Debbie, what was it like when you first had Jessica, talk to me about what you know, were the best years of your marriage, you're gonna give all that up. So and I could go on and on a person comes into him at work and says I'm thinking of leaving, he can have the same conversation, he can see somebody who's lost a job, no matter what conversation situation there is. There's one purpose, there's five missions, family, friends, career, community because you are one person navigating on purpose in all situations. And Dan's awesome at it.
Ray Loewe22:29
You know, we're unfortunately, we're getting near the end of our time, time flies when you're having fun over here, but if you had to look at this concept of purpose, how many people percentage-wise in this country really have a grasp on what their purpose is?
Joe Colavito22:47
I wouldn't be able to put a percentage on it. But I'm going to tell you a little secret survey that I do with every person I meet. So every person I meet, that's new, I say, hey, somewhere in the conversation, so sounds like you're a person of purpose. And they nod and I'll say, Would you mind sharing your, you know, your one-sentence purpose statement. And they say something like this? Well, I did it years ago. It's in a journal. I remember doing it. When I read Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, I'd have to go back to the book, and reader, I hope you hear this with the love that I intended. If you have to go back to a book, to look up what your purpose is, how could you possibly be living it out every day, and therefore you're forfeiting the opportunity to experience life's full potential. So let me anchor that in a 1900-year-old quote, If I could Ray, 1900 years ago, Marcus Aurelius, this is AD 121 said this, and this is why I do what I do every day. People who labor all their lives, but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time, even when hard at work. So if you're out there and you're listening, and you're hard at work, and you're finding that you're either running on empty, or that you've arrived at a false summit, and what you thought was gonna be there, the good life isn't there. And you're lacking the fulfillment and the impact that you know, you were made to be, but you don't know how to get there. Pivot back to purpose.
Kevin Davis24:20
So, Joe, in the closing minutes here, you know, I'm sure a whole lot of people are sitting here going, Wow, this, I gotta do something about this. What would you recommend? What's one simple kind of next step that listeners could take to say, hey, how do I start to think about my purpose and maybe pivot back to that?
Joe Colavito24:43
Find somewhere where you can get off and be alone with your own thoughts? Don't be afraid to go into uncomfortable places. And I'll just list off some questions Top of Mind, who am I? Why am I here? What do I do best? What's that thing that I do best? What makes my heart jump the most? What greatly disturbs me to the point I have to fix it right now? And how do I make the most lasting impact in the lives of others? So if you start to answer those questions, you'll find that all the way back, and I'll just quickly give you an example. So what do I do best? I encourage people, what makes my heart jump the most when I see them light up on purpose, what greatly disturbs me that quote, I just read you, and how do I make the most lasting impact on the lives of others, I lead them to, to a true vision of themselves. And so our program opens up with this statement, I only have one goal, I want you to see a clear vision of you. Because when you do, you're gonna have more fulfillment and impact than you've ever had. And everything in your life is going to be better.
Ray Loewe25:56
You know, I think we have to close there. I don't think there's anything more to say and, and we'll put on our podcast notes, how you can get a hold of Joe and see his website and, you know, get back into what's the meaning of why we're here? And how do we do that to have a more fulfilling and more exciting life? And we're going to Joe, thank you so much. You're obviously one of the luckiest people in the world over here. And you're also one of the most interesting people. So thanks for being with us.
Joe Colavito26:27
It's my pleasure, Ray. And thank you, Kevin. Yeah.
Ray Loewe26:31
And next week, Kevin is bringing us to Lance and Penny Davis. Maybe they're related to Kevin and it's gonna be one of the most intriguing interviews that we've ever done. So stay tuned. And we'll see you all next week on changing the world, changing the world by changing the rules first. And Joe, thanks again for being with us, Kevin, thanks again for being with us. And we'll see you all next week.
Kris Parsons26:59
Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world is gonna have to see a different man