This week we talked with Bill Hughes, one of the luckiest people in the world. Bill talks with us about how the luckiest people in the world community brings value to him and theirs. He attends our coffee and cocktail hours regularly. He listens to our podcasts regularly and discusses how the stories are inspiring to him.
Guest Co-host: Kris Parsons: kris@parsons-pr.com
Kris' Website: https://parsons-pr.com/
Podcast Guest: Bill Hughes: w.hughes@verizon.net
Transcription:
Kris Parsons00:02
Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.
Ray Loewe00:16
You know, I really like this lively host thing. If it were only true.
Kris Parsons00:20
You are lively. No, you are.
Ray Loewe00:21
Well, right now I haven't had enough caffeine, but we are here in sunny, scenic downtown Woodbury, New Jersey, in the studio at the wildfire podcasting works. Yes. And we have, we're surrounded today we have a full studio, we have Bill Hughes with us. We're gonna have a really good discussion. We have Kris Parsons, here, we have our engineer Taylor hiding in the other room, okay. But he makes everything work. And we're hopefully going to talk to a couple of the luckiest people in the world today. And we're going to talk a lot about the luckiest people in the world. And you need to remember that the luckiest people in the world are those people who design their own lives and then live them under their own terms. That's right. And that means that they have to cope with things like rules. And they cope with them the right way. Usually, they know that they need rules, but they tailor those rules to make sure that it does what they want to do. So Kris Parsons has been our co-host my last week. Yes, my last week here. So introduce yourself. Again, quickly. I know you'll look to get that Parsons PR plugin there, you might as well do it.
Kris Parsons01:37
I do. I'm Kris Parsons of Parsons, PR. I do marketing and public relations for a variety of different organizations, everything from special events to small businesses, I just help you get in the news, and I help brand you. And so I've been with Ray here for a while. And we've been co-hosting for the week. It's a month that's really gone by fast. So it's
Ray Loewe02:00
time flies when you're having fun. It really is I've been having a lot of fun. So enough about us introduce our guest.
Kris Parsons02:05
I well. Well, Bill, he's been with us a lot to Bill Hughes. I think I met you a couple of years ago, maybe Yeah, I think we met actually at Fleming's or my lab to give them a pitch. Yeah, we met at Fleming's for a little cocktail hour. But now all our coffee and cocktail hours are virtual. Bill comes from many years in the financial business. He's done some exciting things throughout his life. And he also now has pivoted recently, which is what the luckiest people in the world, do 2020 he has changed some of his focus of financial work to actually helping people find out what their niches are right. That's right. So Bill wanted to expand on that a little bit about what you do with I don't know if you want to call it coaching or?
Bill Hughes02:51
Yeah, it's kind of a term that's overused a little bit. Yeah, life coaching, that's I don't know how good I'd be at a life coach anyway, because I have a hard time coaching my own life. But the idea behind it is to help people get clarity on the direction they want to go. And typically, when they're in transition, that's a very difficult thing to do. Sure, is. So,
Ray Loewe03:12
you know, before we get into our mission today, what we're going to talk about, let's talk about this coaching thing a little bit, because, you know, too many people think that they can coach themselves and they can't. That's true. And the other thing I find is, how many different coaches do you have? coach Bill?
Bill Hughes03:30
Oh, geez, Well you're one Ray. Well, yeah, I mean, obviously, I have a coach that's on a very regular basis that I talked with, I don't know how anybody can be in this line of work and not believe in coaching for themselves. because like you said, it's very, it's very difficult. There are some people that can self-coach, but it's a very, very small minority of folks that can do that. And for the most part, you really need to have some kind of an alternative to your own thought process. So that you can challenge the directions you want to go in, and at least have a devil's advocate to say, Well, so what if that doesn't work? What are you gonna do then, and, or that sounds like a great idea. But you know, and just constantly an alter-ego type of thing where somebody's kind of questioning your thought process so that you get the kind of clarity and need to move things along. Plus, I think probably the biggest thing with coaching more than anything else is accountability. If you don't have an accountability partner, and I mean, anybody can be a coach, I mean, you can, you can have a partner who's in a similar line of work or a different line of work and wants to move themselves in a direction and you can hold each other accountable. So I just suggest to people that I speak with, particularly folks that are kind of limited on resources and can't necessarily engage somebody professionally, that they should look for somebody, to work with. And usually, it's somebody else in a similar situation. And then it allows them to hold each other accountable. So
Kris Parsons05:02
it's also a little bit like working out, you have to practice Yeah, you just can't say, Okay, I'm going to listen to somebody for 15 minutes and then know how I'm going to do my life, you have to really practice. And that's kind of what we talk about with the luckiest people in the world. It's an ongoing process, and it takes practice, if you want to change your life, you have to do it in steps.
Ray Loewe05:23
Well, you know, this is one of the things that I get out of doing these podcasts. It's because everybody comes on here, it's kind of like a coach to me. And you have to take it that way. Because they all have great ideas, they all can get you excited about life. And you need more than that, you need the second half, which is the accountability that Bill talked about. But the whole idea of being able to get that from a podcast, and hopefully from our conversations that we have the cocktails every week and the coffee, you get a chance to add to this coaching experience. So it's not like a one on one kind of a thing. But it helps the same kind of thing.
Kris Parsons06:06
So that leads us almost to our next question, what I know, Bill has been probably one of our most loyal attendees of our coffee hour and cocktail hours, we've been doing that now, ever since the pandemic, we've been doing 8:45 in the morning for coffee hour, Eastern Standard Time, which doesn't leave a lot of our west coast people, they usually come to the cocktail hour, which is 4:45 Eastern Standard Time. But Bill's been at practically all of them. So why have you come all the time? And what do you get out of it?
Bill Hughes06:35
Well, I guess the main thing I get is I get to hear other people's stories. I mean, the folks that tend to show up on these calls, and particularly, the very interesting people that show up on these calls, are folks that are making those transitions now. And in many cases,are you know, knee-deep in whatever project you're working on? And I'm always curious to find out a few things, but one of the things I want to find out is what was the turning point, what was the trigger that suggests to them, okay, I've had enough of this, I'm going to do that now and consequentially get to hear their story. And the people that show up and the stories are so vast and differentiated that if you get bored with one story, hang around for a couple minutes, you're going to hear another one that's
Ray Loewe07:24
Well, that's part of our promises that the luckiest people in the world are also the most interesting people they are. And I think they really are, you know, they just tend to get into things, they figure out how not to get stuck, right? And then they figure out how to get their projects done. And they're usually doing absolutely fascinating and motivating things. And, that's one of the benefits of hanging out in this uh virtual environment, which hopefully won't be virtual too much longer.
Kris Parsons07:54
Right, right. Cuz we were meeting but you, you would even said it was getting costly. Because when you went to a bar, you had to buy the drinks and the food now we just sit in our underwear and talk to each other. Yeah
Bill Hughes08:05
Well, the nice thing is that while the past circumstances over the past 18 months or so have been somewhat difficult. They've also revealed a lot of things too. And one of them is the fact that we do have these wonderful tools that are at our disposal, which allow us to do things kind of on the fly now that we couldn't do before. So now you can interact with folks pretty much anywhere, anytime, in many cases dressed any way you want. Come as you are. And it's an interesting dynamic, it's really helped out a lot.
Kris Parsons08:40
Yeah, I think we do underestimate how technology has actually helped us through this mess. And it's going to continue because I think a lot of people are comfortable with some of it.
Bill Hughes08:51
Well, there's things. There's triggers that people push while I'm sitting there too. And I like to hear if particularly if there's a number of folks or I like to hear the others and how they react to some of the things that they're hearing. Because, again, people don't realize a resource like this is even available. I mean most of the kinds of virtual conferences people go to there's a set agenda. You do this first, you do this next, you do this last. And this is completely upended that I mean, you, get really a group of people, you have a conversation, obviously, I like the smaller ones more because you get a chance to interact directly. But even so usually when they're larger, there's somebody there that's extraordinarily interesting. And you kind of want to hear their whole story. And you got 45 minutes to get through that. So
Ray Loewe08:51
Well, I think the idea is we're definitely going to a hybrid model going forward because this these zoom calls could save so much time, you know, and you just don't have to go places and you can do two or three of them together. But they're not nearly as much fun as sitting around having a cocktail and eating chopped-up steaks, you know, stuff like that. So let's get back to this, this whole conversation thing Bill. If, when you come on to these things, you know, you said you're there to hear other people's stories and that's pretty much typical of the way you treat them because you tend not to talk a lot until you really have something to say yeah, and we keep them pretty tight at 45 minutes. Yeah, that's true. And the other thing that we encourage people to do here is that if you can only pop on sometimes for 5-10 minutes to do that, and because you get the networking part done, you know, you get everybody's email address that we send out, and you can follow up with people, even if you don't have a chance to do it right then and there. Sure. The other thing it does for me, I don't know about you is, I enjoy just seeing people show up and it lets you know that they're alive and well. Right?
Kris Parsons10:58
Actually, I like that about you, Ray. Ray, actually, if someone hasn't been on the coffee and cocktail hours for, you know, a month or so he'll call them and say is everything okay? You feeling Okay? That's nice because I really think a lot of people don't have that they don't have somebody checking up on them. Yeah. Everyone assumes everything's fine.
Ray Loewe11:15
You know, usually, they put you in your place, though, and say, yeah, I've just been bored with you. And I didn't want to put up, with you anymore. You know so let's shift gears a little bit, we can come back to the coffee and the cocktails thing. But let's talk about the value of the podcasts and what you see there. And when you know maybe you can highlight even some of the most valuable ones to you. And why?
Bill Hughes11:26
Well, there have been quite a few of them, I don't know that I can pick out anyone in particular that sticks out, because they all have some aspect of them that's worth listening to. And the thing I like most about the podcast, is that you can do them anytime, right? You can there. And they're not, it's not like you're committing to an hour and a half or two look I've seen podcast to go three, four hours. I don't know how they do it, I really, I don't have to take breaks what you know, what do they do. But in many of those kinds of situations, then you're kind of like listening to part of it. And then maybe you get back to it, maybe you don't, if you can't get through these podcasts in the time that they're set up, then you really got to take a look at your life and your own priorities. Because you're really rushed. I mean, with a podcast go for what 25-30 minutes, I mean, but it's a concentrate, 25-30 minutes, you guys do a pretty good, I'd say very good job in breaking up the interview and getting the gist of that person's dynamic or their specific, luckiest quotient or whatever that is. And that comes out in those calls. And that way. Plus, if you if you hear somebody like you get here and again, you can then go back and hear him take notes. I mean, there's a lot of things you can do with a podcast like that, that you really can do on the coffee thing. I mean, it's oftentimes somebody will say something really interesting, and it kind of goes by the wayside. Yet I believe some of those are recorded though, aren't they? Are they recorded?
Ray Loewe13:11
The podcast or the coffee and cocktails? And actually, we usually don't? Because part of it is we want people free Yeah, they would they want to sit
Bill Hughes13:19
probably not conducive to that and the podcasts are more topical anyway, you've you're bringing somebody on. And it's about their circumstances and where they are and how and what's interesting about what they do and that kind of thing. And that's the part that you get, you could listen to it over and over again if you wanted to. And there may be some that people should do that with
Kris Parsons13:41
Now, why did you pick and you get different kernels of information? Yeah, because they do say some things and then you turn around and say, oh, that will help me and that I think is part of the luckiest people in the world. We're trying to trigger situations where whoever's listening, gets something out of it to take and use for their own growth.
Ray Loewe13:59
Right, right. You know, the thing that fascinates me about doing these podcasts is the number of people that I'm going to use the word adversity, although I don't think the luckiest people in the world, think of it as adversity at all. They just think it is a bump in the road, you know, I'm trying to do something and it's important for me to do and Okay, life gets in the way. So, you know, we'll figure out how to get around it. But you know, I've just seen so many people that have had their businesses shut down well, and they find a way to survive for a year and then they find a way to crank it up and they find a way to make some changes and you can just look at the way our coffee and conversation things have changed to they went from face to face to virtual and we're going to go back to some sort of a combination of the two because they both have advantages and disadvantages
Kris Parsons14:53
Right, when in fact November 6th, is when we're going to do our first in-person, friends connection. We're going Pick one of our guests, Jeff Lincoln, who has Passero coffee and talk about pivot, he'd had to go from having stores to having closing stores has closed, his stores opened. Now he's got an online business. So we're going to learn how to make coffee. Yeah, the other thing.
Bill Hughes15:14
The other thing that I pick up on these calls too, particularly on the podcast, in particular, but often on the calls as well, is the passion that exudes from the individual that's engaged in a project, they really love. Something that they it gets them out of bed in the morning, makes them feel excited. And just picking up on that energy in and of itself, I think is something that is another attribute that I look for, because again when you're coaching people, you're trying to get to that aspect of what it is that really excites them because that's the thing. There's all kinds of motivational talks out there. And everybody has been through that, jamboree is over a period of time and the thing that I like about them as they do get you excited, they get your blood pumping. The thing I don't like about them is that there's a half-life of about 10 minutes. Yeah, and as soon as you leave a conference, or you leave a motivational talk or even something, you're listening to one on tape,if you do work, I'm really dating myself, on an mp3 player, whatever you're listening to you, you then get immersed in life, and all that stuff gets forgotten. Correct. But the thing is that when I pick up with an individual I'm working with or for that matter, on the podcast or you pick up a level of passion, and then I'm looking for that turning point that was that discovery thing that they that revealed to them. Gee this is really something I love doing. And the coffee guy is one of those guys. You can tell but also the gentleman did the mixologist.
Kris Parsons16:51
Oh, yes, Carlos,
Bill Hughes16:52
you can tell just by the way, he shakes the glasses. I mean, it he's cutting the fruit or whatever he's doing. You can tell there's an art, there's an art form to it. And that art form is expressed in his passion that he puts into it.
Kris Parsons17:07
He's actually you should see him he's going crazy on internet. He's doing things with celebrities. He's really, he's really gone crazy. And he originally was going to come to our friends connection, our first one.
Bill Hughes17:18
Now, who is the lady that did the chocolates that exploding chocolate Kelly,
Kris Parsons17:24
Kelly Lyon.
Bill Hughes17:24
I mean, who could you know, think of confections that would do that to somebody, but
Kris Parsons17:32
I'm a woman, it's chocolate.
Ray Loewe17:33
So let me ask a question to you is, you're a coach, you coach a lot of people and you help them get through this. So why is it that some people can make these transitions, and they in fact become lucky, when there's nothing necessarily extraordinary about them? Other than maybe they found that passion? Maybe they found that niche where they are. But why is it that some of these people are able to make these transitions and others are not
Bill Hughes18:04
They're desperate. They're desperate. The desperation of day-to-day, and maybe they'll come across something in their travels that will all of a sudden trigger a thought. And then they'll try it out. And then they'll say, Wow, I didn't even think about doing this. I mean, a lot of that is another gift to the last 18 months is the fact that people become had to become very introspective, and start to take a look at themselves and what's most important to them over that period of time, and consequentially. Now, there are certain things emerging in their consciousness that might not have otherwise, while we were sort of sleepwalking through life when everything was normal.
Kris Parsons18:41
Exactly. No, the busyness was kind of a deterrent for have you really sit back and say, What am I doing here? What, what is my reason? What is my purpose, and I don't think it's instantaneous, either. I actually think this stuff is germinating. And that's where I think you're really helpful in what you do. It's been germinating for a long time you ask the right questions, and you do you ask a lot of great questions of people, and you help them bring it to a head. So you kind of help bring out their transition which is nice.
Ray Loewe19:11
Well, you know, one of the reasons that we're doing these podcasts and we're trying to focus on these luckiest people in the world, is because there's too much time lost by people who just don't take action, who just sit there and ponder too long. And I don't know what it is. Sometimes it's a trigger, I found people who have lost their jobs sometimes benefit from that, yeah, as bad as that sound, because it forces them into action. And what we're trying to do with this thing is to put forth a series of people who've made it happen. And they're all different. So the idea is that if you're listening to them, maybe you can find one that resonates with you, maybe you can give yourself find a way to give yourself permission to say yes. And I think that's one of the biggest things that people don't do.
Bill Hughes19:11
That's the key to pretty much everything. I mean, Mary Lee Adams if I can ever get her on this call. She does a thing called the inquiry Institute. And she focuses principally on question thinking, and she was actually she wrote a book called The art of the question. And she's a psychotherapist, you know, that's kind of like their thing. But over the years, I've studied a lot of people that are extraordinarily good at what they do. And whether it's psychotherapy, whether it's medicine, whether it's working out whatever it is, usually starts out with a question in some fashion, and not just the question, but the answer and then the thread that you follow up on the question and you just keep going so you can't go anymore and sometimes it runs out and you go in a different direction you guys are going to questions? Well, I would suggest that anybody that listens to your podcast, in particular really needs to bring a notepad or something there with them. And I would focus on asking questions, I would, even if, obviously, it's a one-way conversation. But the point is, is that if they wrote down all the questions they had that came out of that, and then proceed to try to get those questions answered. And a lot of times, some of these guests that you have show up on the coffee hour. Yes, we've been trying to do that more and more. than that, gives them the opportunity to say, you know, you said such and such on the call, how did you do that? Or what caused you to think that way? And then you get to hear directly from the horse's mouth, something that you have a question about. But I would suggest in any of these interactions that are done through the luckiest guy in the world, that you definitely have a notepad and write down the questions you have or the thoughts you have not just the questions, but the thoughts you have that pop up as a consequence of listening to the.
Ray Loewe21:54
Yeah, and we do have a transcription along with a podcast so that you can actually print it out and go back. Sure and go back. And, and I think you certainly don't want to do that on everyone, there's too many but on those that resonate with you, either because it's something that you always thought you like to do, or because it's a person who's in the same circumstances, as you and you see that they made those changes that transform them from an ordinary person to one of the luckiest people in the world. And I have to tell you, that of all these people that I've met the joy that these people have, once they make that decision to move and to say yes, and to allow themselves to do these things is absolutely incredible. Now, unfortunately, we're nearing the end of our time.
Kris Parsons22:42
See how exciting Bill is? I think this is the fastest podcast we've had.
Ray Loewe22:46
Yeah. So, Kristine, you're for ladies are first, any final comments that you want to make?
Kris Parsons22:51
No other than I just want to encourage more people to come to our coffee and cocktails, because first of all, Bill will be there. And he will ask you some great questions. And yeah, I mean, it's working. Oh, and also I just wanted to give Bill a little bit of Congratulations, because Bill is going to follow me he's going to be the co-host for October or September, October sorry, October. That's right there's someone else coming in September. But Bill will be the co-host in October.
Ray Loewe23:19
We're giving a month of reprieve.
Kris Parsons23:22
You know, it's exciting too I've been talking to Bill virtually for a couple months now.
Ray Loewe23:27
And what Bill is going to do is he's bringing a series of guests on the show that kind of follow his track a little bit. That's one of the things that we hope to continue to do with Co-hosts is we're trying to get diversity in here. And we're trying to get other people's thinking in here and, and Kris, thanks differently than Bill.
Kris Parsons23:47
I do sometimes.
Ray Loewe23:50
And everybody thinks differently. I try not to think so anyway, Bill, any parting remarks that you want to make?
Bill Hughes23:58
No just like I said, whenever you're listening to things like this, or reading books or whatever it is not just taking the notes, but an idea that pops in your head. It may be totally unrelated. Write it down. Write it down. Because how often have you had a dream at night? Didn't have the notepad by the table? woke up the next morning? can't recall the dream. It's gone. Yeah
Kris Parsons24:20
That's a good idea, a very good idea.
Ray Loewe24:23
All right. So everybody, join us next week, we're going to have another guest, another one of the luckiest people in the world who's going to show us in this case, her track on how she navigated life and how she stays lucky and gets luckier and luckier. It takes practice. Being lucky takes practice. Stay tuned, everybody and Tyler were ready to sign off, unfortunately.
Kris Parsons24:48
Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host of Ray Loewe, better known As the luckiest guy in the world.