Marc Bernstein joins us to share how events of the past three months threw a monkey wrench into his life. But like other Luckiest People in the World, Marc embraced the change, found a positive solution, and is creating his plan for moving forward. These are three of the mindsets Ray has identified as those of The Luckiest People in the World. Listen for the motivational details.
Diane Dayton
This is changing the rules, a podcast about designing the life you want to live, hosted by KC Dempster and Ray Loewe, the luckiest guy in the world.
KC Dempster
Good morning, everybody. Welcome to changing the rules. I'm KC Dempster. And I have Ray Loewe with me, the, he hates this, the self proclaimed luckiest guy in the world. You know, all through our lives, people have been setting rules for us. First it was our parents and then teachers, church. And as we get older employers and you know, the list goes on. And the rules are originally meant to control us, but usually in a positive way. They are trying to give a structure and guidance to keep us safe. But over time, a lot of these rules lose their relevance to us and they can become restrictive to what we want to do. And so this podcast is designed to help us build our own set of rules those that are important to us. And that work for us. We all need rules, but they need to be our rules. And when we change the rules to our rules, we become free. Free to be ourselves. Good morning, Ray.
Ray Loewe
Good morning. And I'm all for this being free to be yourself Stuff, you know, rules, rules, rules, there's too many of them. And you know, it's not bad enough that we have the old rules, we get new rules all the time. And that's one of the things we're going to talk about today. So, I have been studying adult, all my adult life, people that I call the luckiest people in the world. And they're there those people that you'll want to be there that the people that everything always seems together, they have an aura of luck about them. And it's not the lottery winners that we're talking about. It's the people that, you know, are constantly lucky, almost everything that they do turns into a golden opportunity. And I think it's because they make it happen. So 1let me set Kind of a definition of the luckiest people in the world that I've evolved. And I'd like to define the luckiest people in the world as those people that personally design their own lives. They take control of their own lives, and they live their own lives to the max. And to do this, they use a series of mindsets. And one of them is changing the rules. They don't mess around with rules, they, they figure out how to make them work for them. And our guest today, really, we're going to introduce three rules. We've introduced them before, but I think it's really important that we reinforced them again. One of the rules deals with change. And we've all been smacked by this virus. And all of a sudden, we were told you're not allowed to go out of your house, you have to stay home you have to be social distance. And boy did that throw a damper in the role of people who are out there trying to make a living.
And I think that's one of the things that the luckiest people in the world have overcome. The second thing that they do is they always, always, always find a positive outcome in everything. And is because they're optimistic. It's because of the way they look at things. But uh, but they work at it to make that happen. And finally, at the end, they come back and they take everything that they've got, and they put it in a plan and they figure out how they're going to work with this going forward. So we're going to take a break in a moment and when we come back, we're going to reintroduce Marc Bernstein Marc has been on our show before, he's a semi regular, but he always has wisdom to import, impart, and he very, very definitely is one of the luckiest people in the world. So let's take a short break Taylor.
Diane Dayton
You're listening to changing the rules with k Dempster and Ray Loewe the luckiest guy in the world. We will be right back with more exciting information.
Ray Loewe
Okay, Marc Bernstein Are you there?
Marc Bernstein
I'm here Ray.
Ray Loewe
Okay, so, uh, Mark, reintroduce yourself, I could do that. But there's nobody better to do that. Tell us what you do for a living. And then we'll get into your book and a couple of other things.
Marc Bernstein
Well, I am a financial planner that I prefer to call myself a fiscal therapist.
And that name came from the book or the book came from what I do, but it's called The Fiscal Therapy solution. 1.0. And I find that I call myself that because what I do and what my team does goes a lot deeper than traditional financial planning. It really goes into really understanding our clients, really understanding what it is they value, what they want, what their attitudes are. about money and other things. And then once we know them starting to develop a plan. And the last thing we talk about our financial products, which, unfortunately is what the industry usually discusses, as the first thing,
Before we go on real quick, can I make a book recommendation based on your introduction today? Sure. So I'm reading very slowly because I want to absorb it all call it and it's pretty well known called The Untethered Soul. by Michael A. Singer. And it talks exactly about what you're talking about living your own life, and finding your own path. And actually, the book that got me interested in that was the book prior to that. He actually wrote it later. It's like the prequel that he wrote, but I think it helps to read it first because it tells his life story, which is fascinating. And it's called The Surrender Experiment. And what he talks about is his life, which basically he was a hippie in the late 1960s and The early 1970s and he really just wanted to live out in the woods and meditate. And by pursuing his path, he eventually developed a meditation center which became a temple, which people started coming from all over the country, developed into a business. He ended up being the CEO of a multi billion dollar corporation.
Little temple in rural Florida. And it's ironic, what's opened opportunities. It's a fascinating story. And he's become a speaker on the subject and he's a he's a great source of information for people that are looking to live their own lives. And as an inspiration lately,
Ray Loewe
so well, you know, I've I've known you for a long time and probably going on 30 years over here maybe longer than that. And, and I know you're an attorney, and I'll forgive you for that. Okay, so attorneys are meant to deal with rules. I've never known you to be a rules guy. Really, I think you've always been able to take a look at the rules and figure out how to make things happen that you needed to make happen, to feel happy to be yourself. And we got hit not too long ago, you know, I remember the last time I met you, you know, we met because you were out on the road, you were out seeing people and, and now all of a sudden we have social distancing. And we can't do that anymore. So, so how did that strike you when it happened? And then we'll talk about what you did about it.
Marc Bernstein
First of all, I have to clarify, I'm a lawyer. I'm not about breaking law, but I am about changing the rules.
Ray Loewe
Like a KC Dempster line.
KC Dempster
Yeah. Well, I was married to a lawyer so I kind of know that stuff.
Marc Bernstein
Well, and it's also good as a financial planner not to be breaking any laws too. But changing the rules is a whole different story. So how it hit me...So like many of us, you know, all of a sudden I was I was actually visiting my son in Denver, knowing that travel might be restricted soon. It was May the 13th I think when I went out there, and on the way back, I realized that the whole world had changed in about four days. And that we were we were get ready to get shut down that the office was getting shut down. I got into my office once for about an hour before it got shut down. It's still closed. We're not opening my broker dealers not opening our office again until at least September. Wow, I have a feeling it could be longer. I have a feeling we won't be earliest we'll have clients in our office, which is how most of the way you build your business and it's the way I don't mind. People coming in the office. The earliest I think will be January to be honest.
I've also just to describe that a little bit. I've been a frequent guest on internet. Television shows the last few weeks I have an agent and I've been on some shows. They picked me to speak on the dynamics of the changing commercial real estate landscape. And it is changing drastically. I mean, major companies are saying, you know, 80% of our clients are going to work from home now. I mean, so so that was the first thing that struck me, I've never worked from home. I never really used a computer very much, you know, for personal use.
But, you know, I've always had staff that takes care of, you know, I work on my unique abilities, and those are bringing in business, working with clients doing the planning, and creating strategies and then helping them come to decisions to move forward. Those are the things I'm good at. I'm not good at working computers, I'm not good at, you know, staff, you know, managing staff, and those are not my greatest strengths. So, all of a sudden, I'm home and we got to figure out how to keep our employees motivated. We've got to figure out, I got to figure out how to use the thing that's sitting in front of me. Now I'm very advanced, you know, I'm standing up right now. I have have one of these desks that you can raise the level and I can, you know, I can, I figured out Skype today and figure it out. I'm a Zoom Meister, you know become really good at Zoom so so number one it's been a blessing because think of all the new technical capabilities I have that I didn't have before.
So one of the things I realized, so my partners and myself decided that for the first month, we were going to do nothing but keep in touch with our top relationships and just see how they're doing. See if we can support them in any way because it's, you know, it's a really, really tough time for people. And that's what we did. The interesting thing is just by doing that business opportunities came our way number of business opportunities came our way without trying. The next thing I started thinking about was like, that's great, but how do I bring in new business because a certain percentage of our business each year is bringing in new business. Hello, we have a nice base of clients, but that's important as well. Well to bring in new business. So, like, how are we going to do that? So we've been starting to have all these zoom meetings with clients. But now it's a little different when you're, you know, when you're meeting someone for the first time and you're trying to connect on zoom, it's not quite the same thing as connecting with someone. Like I see you guys on my screen and it's easy because I've known you both for many years. So how do you do that? So I came up with this idea and Ray has been Ray and I have talked about and he's been a, you know, an influencer with me on this, that I'm developing a series of webinars right now titled Financial Leadership in Turbulent Times. And we're, um, that was I left my phone on that was Siri talking to me.
So, we, um, and it's and it's really a series of ideas and exercises around. What is your vision now versus what it was three months ago? ago I had to go through this myself, or nothing I'm saying six months ago. So to go back to December of 2019. And now it's six months later, well, seven, almost seven months later, but june of 2016, what's changed and what shifted for you? A lot has shifted for me.
I, you know, Ray knows my wife and I have talked about where we want to live, we're now our kids are isolated. They're living in different cities. And we're, you know, we're living in this big house by ourselves and say, We don't need this anymore. We just came from our Mountain House. Um, and we're, we decided to sell that and in fact, it's getting sold because we don't get up there enough. And we're thinking about different things we added on to our Vacation Club points because that's more relevant now. Where Where can we meet our kids and spend time together? So our lifestyles changing, things are changing.
A lot of my business and and I think ultimately all for the better. But a lot so my my view of what I want really is changed. As Ray said I was traveling a lot I was intending to do more traveling more speaking. And I decided I don't really think I want to do that as much I I'd rather do what we're doing right now I'd like to do podcasts. I like to do more webinars I'd like to do. And I'd like and the other thing is I'm adding a team of people to bring in business, just kind of what I did for many years in my business. And I'm and just by thinking about it, I've had people come to me look from out of the blue that are that are interested in and that's their strength. So it's, you know, it's it's really it's almost, it's amazing in two months, how much has changed, and I think it's all going to be for the good.
Ray Loewe
You know, I'm looking forward, But I I'm looking forward to this this workshop that you're doing which I will be on and and I'm actually bringing a friend line with me. Okay. And it's probably going to turn out to be a new client relationship for you at some point in time. But, but the whole idea is, uh, I've had time to think, just like you have. And when you have time to think, you know, this is what we've never done before where everything was moved, move, move. I love the idea that you're rethinking where you want to live. So you actually now are spending time talking to your spouse? I mean, isn't that a good thing? Right? A lot of times. Yeah. And, and so it's intriguing, and it's exciting. So. So here you are, you've got hit with a change. you've figured out some creative ideas about what has to be done. What's your vision going forward? I mean, you kind of gave us a little piece of it here. But you said you're going to be off the road a little bit more than you were before.
Marc Bernstein
I think a lot more I what I decided is I love to travel. But I love to, you know, traveling isn't easy these days, you know, and it's it's only going to get tougher with what's going on now. So what I realized if you have to get somewhere for business, it's a lot of stress. But if you're going on vacation, I said this to my family a long time ago, we have delays if there's a flight delay, whatever happens once we've gotten in the car, we're on our way to the airport, that's our vacation. So if the planes late, it's like big deal, you know, or something happens big deal and it doesn't affect you. So I decided I do want to do more traveling but for pleasure, not for not so much for business anymore. You know, all these conferences I had like four or five conferences canceled between March and June. And be honest with you, I didn't miss any of them. thinking, you know, I'm thinking Am I gonna continue doing those in the future.
We you know, the interesting thing is that way you feel is probably how your clients feel too, isn't it? Well, I'm starting to see that, you know, clients are very happy to connect on zoom, they don't have to drive to my office, we don't have to drive there. You know, it saves a lot of time. There's a lot of advantages to to what's coming out of this and the way we're operating. Sure, I want to be belly to belly with people from time to time, I want to see them, you know, get together because I care about them. And, you know, in those days are going to return we're going to be able to do that. But I think we've gotten in the habit. Now we could say to people, would you rather come into the office? Or would you rather do it on Zoo and a lot of like to keep things short? everybody's busy. So I think it's a lot easier to not make big events out of things and just do you know, technology's becoming a big aid and being more efficient with our time and which makes us better able to do the other things we want to do in our lives. So I think it's all great. I really do. Cool. All right. Well, unfortunately, we're getting near the end of our time, boy, time flies.
Ray Loewe
fast when we're done, you know, and again, before we close, I just want to remark, this is why you're one of the luckiest people in the world. And I really feel you are because you company, right? Well, you've taken the problem and you've turned it into a very positive thing and and not only are you revamping your life based on it in a positive way, but but I think the insights that you have as a financial advisor, follow through with this because our clients are thinking the same kind of thing. And now you're going to be able to put their plans together in a more exciting, more personal way than you ever were able to do that before. I'm looking forward to this workshop with you. I will be there and let's continue to do some exciting things. And KC, let's decide what we're going to do next week.
KC Dempster
Okay, well Next week we're going to be on the podcast again. At this point, I'm not sure if you've told me who our guest is going to be. I look forward to that. Because, secret Yeah, I love meeting these luckiest people. And I just want to remind everybody that the luckiest people in the world weren't born lucky. But they do live, exciting and fulfilling lives. And it's because they made the commitment to learn how to be lucky and they understand that you can't just make you know, make this commitment or do something once you It's a journey. So you constantly have to be reevaluating and looking at your life and figuring out what you need and what you want, and then finding out how to get there. And we have ways of helping people with that. So, you know, what do you think people should do to learn to be lucky and stay lucky?
Ray Loewe
Well, they ought to listen to our podcast because every week we have somebody like mark on and and all of the new podcasts going forward are going to feature people that I think are lucky People in the world. They have these mindsets. They're actually doing things that are creative and interesting and exciting in response to changes. In some cases, they're physically changing the rules, but never the law right mark. Never Never the law. And and we're getting excited for getting back in having our Friends Connection again. And that's one thing I don't want to not happen. A party is a party is a party. And when you're surrounded by a bunch of the luckiest people in the world, exciting things happen.
And we've got some new books and courses coming out so So Mark, give us once more the final version. Your book that's out is called The Fiscal Therapy Solution. 1.0 available on Amazon.
Marc Bernstein
And I have a thought for you before we go. I have a personal trainer that we're training virtually now which is great. I don't have to drive anywhere. Zoom and yesterday he said yes. class because we have a class, but he manages to see everybody individually. And we have back and forth. And he said, is your day happening to you? Are you happening to your day? We have a good day, but you know, who's affecting whom there? Yeah. And proactive and not reactive every day now is, um, you know, is an adventure. And I think it's one of the lessons I've learned from this is make every day meaningful. You know, whatever it is your path, make sure that you're doing things to progress. I think human beings, we're gonna talk about this in the webinar, you know, are built to progress to move forward. If you don't move forward, you're moving backward. So how are you progressing every day in your journey, as you call out? Yeah.
Ray Loewe
Well, thanks for your wisdom as usual. And we'll be back next week with a new guest and a new topic. And join us, everybody. Thank you. We'll talk to you next week. Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a podcast design. To help you live your life the way you want, and give you what you need to make it happen.
Diane Dayton
Join us in two weeks for our next exciting topics on changing the rules with KC Dempster and Ray Loewe the luckiest guy in the world.