Today's guest, Ruth Kinsler, experienced a life-changing event that forced her to re-evaluate everything. Her inspiring story illustrates why we believe she is one of the Luckiest People in the World. Listen now, and have a better day because of it.
Ruth Kinzler; Facebook: @mystrokeofluckruthie
Ray Loewe: www.theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com
Transcript:
Diane Dayton
This is changing the rules, a podcast about designing the life you want to live, hosted by KC Dempster and Ray Loewe, the luckiest guy in the world.
KC Dempster
Good morning, everybody. Welcome to Changing the Rules. I'm KC Dempster. And I'm here at Wildfire Radio in Woodbury, New Jersey booth with my co host, Ray Loewe, the Luckiest Guy in the World
Ray Loewe
and we're socially distanced, sort of,
KC Dempster
Well, there is no sort of about it. We're about six feet apart. Okay. So, changing the rules is a podcast about how change affects people. You know, we do face change in our lives and, and we also face a lot of rules. You know, from the day we're born. People are making rules for us. It's our parents, our teachers, our churches, the society. Employers, as we get older, there's always rules. And for the most part, I believe, personally that the rules are intended to keep us safe and to guide us and to to make Society work. But oftentimes as we get older and more mature, a lot of these rules are not relevant. And in fact, they can become restrictive in our lives. And the luckiest people in the world realize this, they recognize it and they decide that they're going to change the rules so that it fits their lives. And once they start to create their own rules and live by their own rules, and understand I'm not talking about laws, I'm talking about rules. They they start to become free to be themselves and in fact, probably enjoy more and more success.
Ray Loewe
So good morning, right. Thank you. Okay, so I'm here in Woodbury to we have a wonderful guest today. We are all appropriately socially distanced unfortunately. I have my own new Mike cover. Yes. Okay. And I get to take it home with me and thank you for that Taylor, use it next time. Yeah, I'm gonna have to remember to bring it back. But But you know, this whole rule thing gets out of proportion like you said, And the luckiest people in the world as I define them are people who design their own lives. They personally go on out and they figure out what do I want to do? They design it, then they go step into that life, they take control and they live it. Okay? Now, how can you do that if you have rules of other people, that's one of the reasons why you have to change the rules. Now, we all need rules. Rules are important. They give a structure to our life, but they need to be our law rules. And that's the only way you can be free to be you, in my opinion. So I've been studying this group of people that we call the luckiest people in the world for most of my adult life. And I've found that some people just are interesting to be around, they're fun to be around. They're doing wonderful things. You know, they have this glow around them that they're happy all the time. And if they're not happy, they fix it and get happy all the time. And why I you know, I decided, you know, I want Hang out with these people, right? These are fun people to be with. Right? And not only that, if I wanted to hang out with them, I better get to work and fix my own life so that I would be one of the luckiest people in the world to and there's no maybe about this, I am the luckiest guy in the world. Okay, so I didn't say
KC Dempster
I know that you like to call yourself that.
Ray Loewe
Okay, so So, we have a wonderful guest today. And this guest exudes several of the mindsets that the luckiest people in the world have. One of them is that they handle rules really well. And this particular guest on had the rules change on her and you're gonna see how she responded. It's magnificent. Okay, then addition to that the luckiest people in the world always, always always find a positive solution. Our guest today certainly did that. Our guests also find out how to change those rules going forward, she adapted a plan like the luckiest people in the world did and She found a way to mesh what happened to her and what she decided to do into something that she can take forward. But there's another element in here that I want to throw in. We haven't talked about this one. And that is the luckiest people in the world also follow what is fascinating and motivating to them. And I think when you find out what our guest did today, she certainly is following what is fascinating and motivating to her and I think I see a smile on her. So I think she must be happy.
KC Dempster
Yes, yes. So, so let's take a quick break. And then we when we come back, we're going to introduce Ruth and get into her amazing story.
Diane Dayton
You're listening to changing the rules with KC Dempster and Ray Loewe the Luckiest Guy in the World. We will be right back with more exciting information.
KC Dempster
Welcome back, everybody and I am pleased to introduce to you Ruth Kinsler and She had an event several years ago that turned her life upside down. And she's going to tell us more about it. So Ruth, welcome.
Ruth Kinsler
Thank you for having me both. on this beautiful 95 degree morning.
KC Dempster
Well, as somebody who hates winter, I'm more happy to to have that than a 35 degree morning.
Ruth Kinsler
It's true. This is true, is true. But thank you for having me.
KC Dempster
Oh, we're delighted. Because I think this is a story that that a lot of people need to hear, especially the, you know, in this time of pandemic and the way most of our lives have been turned upside down. And there's a tendency sometimes to feel a little sorry for yourself. And so I'd like them to hear your story. Sure. So So why don't you tell us Ruth, you were I mean, my understanding is you were working in the business world, and that you had decided to take a week at the shore with your girlfriends. Correct and take it from there.
Ruth Kinsler
Okay, I was in the exhibit industry, I'm an accountant and I was doing accounting work for for 30, over 30 years. And I took a vacation. We went to the beach, and it was just a normal, beautiful Monday afternoon and I suffered a what's called a spinal stroke. And within three hours, my life changed completely. I was paralyzed from my chest down, which is where my spinal stroke happened. It was in the section of my the middle of my back. So from the middle of my back down was where I was completely paralyzed. And the doctors at that point, didn't understand why it happened, how it happened. But it happened and they they realized that I needed you know, beach hospitals are not always the best hospitals to be at so they rushed me to the University of Pennsylvania where I stayed for probably, I think it was seven, seven days until I actually started getting a little bit of movement back in my feet. From that point on, it was all up. I went to Magee Rehabilitation Center in Philadelphia and I was there for a couple months and by the grace of God and and the help and the expertise at at Magee, they they taught me how to live on my own. They taught me how to walk again, with assistance. Not only did they help me physically, they helped me emotionally. We had support groups. It was a change that just, you know what happened all of a sudden. So that's what I had to take in. This was my new life. I went home, I was I was home for a couple months and I decided, you know, this isn't, I was going to physical therapy, but I I had to find something to do and I had to do something That was going to make me happy and also give back because I was very, very fortunate and lucky that I got this this amount of mobility back. So I thought what can I do that makes me happy that makes other people happy that I enjoy doing. So I started a baking business, I started a catering business, and I called it A Stroke of Luck.
KC Dempster
I love that name. I absolutely love it.
Ray Loewe
So let me interrupt here for a minute. So what does a person do? When they have a stroke? their whole life changes. They quit their job to start a business, right? Sure. It doesn't ever make sense to me. Okay, and a successful business. And only the luckiest people in the world would do that right?
KC Dempster
And I'm going to add a little bit of a commercial here. I happened to be at a birthday party about nine or 10 days ago where one of the lovely desserts were cupcakes, carrot cupcakes made by Ruth and I will attest that they are absolutely Delicious.
Ruth Kinsler
That's wonderful, thank you.
KC Dempster
if I wasn't Q, I would have been embarrassed because I didn't know many of these people. If I knew everybody, I would have had a second one.
Ruth Kinsler
Oh, well, I will make you some personally.
KC Dempster
So, um, so I mean, that was a that was a that was a very digested version of what happened. And I think that our listeners probably should understand that. I mean, you touched on it. You said you were at Magee for several months. That's a long time and and too, you had to learn how to walk. And you had to learn how to take care of yourself. Absolutely. And, and I think it's wonderful that they also had groups for you where you could work on the emotional perspective, because that's something that as an outsider and somebody who's never suffered such a thing, I guess intellectually, I would know that there might be some mental issues that you have to overcome but it but I imagine that there are A lot more prevalent than we might appreciate, is that correct?
Ruth Kinsler
Absolutely. I mean, until you experience something like that, you just don't know. And it's hard to, it's hard to explain to somebody what you're feeling. It's not only a physical, the spinal cord injury is not physical, it's physical, but it's absolutely emotional, mental, financial, it's this big, huge, you know, bucket of things stirring around in there. And you just don't know you can't grab that one and say, Okay, I'm going to fix this one, I'm going to fix that one. It's just a day by day basis. And there are many avenues that you take to accept what has been handed to you. And it's not it wasn't a you know, it's only been three years, this coming August will be three years. So I'm still going through all those processes, but I'm very, very fortunate that I like I have a positive attitude. I feel blessed and lucky that I am here and I'm able to even talk about it and try to help others. Right, you know, and I'm still looking for help from others. And as I gain that, you know, my hope is that I that I give it back.
Ray Loewe
So it's real easy when something like this happens to just go into a shell and say, okay, you know, so I'll just live in misery for the rest of my life. And we all know people who do that and have done that,
Ruth Kinsler
and which I did that as well in the very beginning.
Ray Loewe
We're all allowed to do that for a while right
KC Dempster
and and I imagine it's sort of like the the processes of grief because in a sense, you're grieving a life that was completely up ended. So so there's the anger and the acceptance and all that kind of stuff. And but I think that you hit on something very important that you said that you're a positive person. And I am. I'm confident that in a recovery situation like this, being able to Look at the positive, even if you sometimes have to dig for it and can't see it every day. Absolutely. That has to be a tool that really works to your benefit. It absolutely does. And
Ray Loewe
let's turn this conversation around.
KC Dempster
Okay, here we go.
Ray Loewe
That's the past and and you know what, what Ruth had to do was she got smacked with this change, and he faced it. And she did the rehab, and she went through whatever we had to go through. And that was that. And unfortunately, I get the feeling that that's still going on a little bit, but it no longer has that awful texture that it had before. All right, and then the second thing you did is you faced the problem and you said there's a positive solution out there. Okay, and you picked up what you like to do is baking and cooking. I do so so let's talk about where you take this in the future. So what's the vision? How are you going to do this? What are Some of the hurdles that you have to face you know, tell us a great story,
Ruth Kinsler
it's in the very beginning, I you know, I was faking it to make it I just I love it you know, I enjoyed cooking as a child but my vision was I wanted to give back and I wasn't sure how to do that. So as I started developing this company, I decided that I would give a percentage of the proceeds back to the people that do the research and discovery and development for spinal cord injury. So I started this this business and I basically do you know, soups, comfort food and sweets. It's not a huge business. But my, my, my hope is that at some point because this has only been about a year now, a little more than a year that I've been doing this and I'm starting to get a little more well known. I would love to see myself in a state storefront maybes trying to try to give back more than just a little tiny bit of the proceeds. I've learned that through this COVID-19 pandemic, people love to eat sweets. Now I could see myself going in more Ray in that direction of baked goods and a bakery as opposed to you know, just the comfort foods. But, but going back to the hurdles, you know, it's I've never run a business before. So I've been doing my research on you know, licensing and tax implications and, you know, handicap accessible facilities. Will I be able to stand on my feet for 10 hours a day. There are a lot of obstacles that I'm going to have to to do. Possibly trial and error, you know, because it's something I want to do, but I'm just, you know, I've got to look into whether or not that's going to be feasible for me.
Ray Loewe
Well, I think you'll make it feasible I think you're certainly going to try yeah and and what you'll do is you'll elicit help you'll elicit to help if if you need it and you'll figure out what you have to do. But but the whole concept here just amazes me and it's it's the stuff I like to do this whole concept of following people that are fascinating and motivating and you know, of all people you have to be one I I keep going back to this thought that goes through my head, you know, when is a paralyzed person do you know, they quit their job starts our business, I mean, you know, right. And it for you, this seems like natural it was there wasn't any other thought this was just what was going to happen. And you're in the process of making it happen, and I think you'll find out where it fits you, you know how big Go, is what you have to do for you. And so what a lot is people in the world do they design their own life and they step into it and they live it to the hilt, right? That's that's, you know, congratulations, Ruth. You're here.
Ruth Kinsler
Okay, I do I feel lucky and
Ray Loewe
last. Yeah. Okay. So going forward. You said what some of the hurdles are, you know, what, what kind of help do you think you need? What, what is the message that we can send to our audience to get them motivated to do what you do?
Ruth Kinsler
Well, I I know that's a tough one. You know, I was fortunate enough to be born with being a positive person. And always looking on the bright side of things. glass is half full. I mean, half, you know, half. You know what I'm trying to say? Yes, I surround myself with positive people with people that lift me up and try to help me and that's exactly what I want to do to give back I want to bring a smile to people's faces, right? that is clearly my objective
KC Dempster
So is to the way people can help her is to order some of her cakes and cupcakes and,
Ray Loewe
and and boy did she set us up for the end of the show. Yeah, that would be fabulous.
Ruth Kinsler
If you'd like to look into that I could always go on Facebook and look at a stroke of luck catering.
Ray Loewe
catering, okay, I think Unfortunately, our Time's up. So we need to go to a quick break here. And then we're going to come back and kind of close up.
Diane Dayton
You're listening to Changing the Rules with KC Dempster and Ray Loewe the Luckiest Guy in the World. We will be right back with more exciting information.
KC Dempster
Welcome back, everybody. And I'm still kind of on a little bit of a high over this podcast because I I am so uplifted by Ruth's spirit, and, and I think that instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I have a little, you know, bring a little of that into my own life. And I think that we often say that the luckiest people in the world make the commitment to be lucky. They don't just let life happen to them. And I think that Ruth is a perfect example of this. And and it's not just enough for one, you know, a one time commitment isn't enough. Life is a journey. And you're going to have things thrown at you right and left. And you do have to have that mindset, as you say, to find the positive to make the rules fit you and to and to carry them forward in a plan for your future. So most lucky people seem to continuously expand their opportunities in their lives and this means that they also get to meet lucky people and share experiences and learning from the experts and adjusting their own lives.
Ray Loewe
Yeah, I think we're gonna make it a point to have Ruth at our Friend's Connection whenever we get out of the doldrums and do this okay. And and tell her story because ahh it's just a magnificent story. And it's one that we should all remember. And and I think gratitude is a real important part of this. I think we were all born lucky if you're in America, right? And, and sometimes we don't take the time to think about it. And sometimes it takes an event like this to to jar you and you were a boring accountant before.
KC Dempster
I bet she wasn't a boring accountant.
Ray Loewe
She was, but I don't think she was boring. Yeah, but I bet she didn't bake muffins.
Ruth Kinsler
Boring was never in my vocabulary.
Ray Loewe
So Ruth, I have to say you are certainly one of the luckiest people in the world. There is no question about that. And, you know, if you want to meet people like Ruth, you know, come to our website, check out the things that we do. We're going to have our friends connection coming up. We do various podcasts and things like that. And I'm gonna have to listen to this one about three or four times. Because I just gets me excited about life so much. And I'd like
KC Dempster
to just remind everybody that our website is our new website, and you can find it at WWW dot the luckiest people in the world.com. So, take a cruise around the site, come back again and again and don't forget to subscribe to our podcasts. We'll see you next week.
Diane Dayton
Thank you for listening to Changing the Rules, a podcast designed to help you and your life the way you want and give you what you need to make it happen. Join us in two weeks for our next exciting topics on changing the rules with KC Dempster and Ray Loewe the Luckiest Guy in the World.