Today's guest, Sharman Nittoli has lived a life many would only dream of and she isn't stopping. Her willingness to take leaps of faith has created a life filled with adventures. Sharman's energy is boundless and she wants to share it with you. Listen to a most fascinating and interesting life story as can only be told by Sharman and learn how to grab a little of that zest for life for yourself. Learn more about The Luckiest People in the World at www.theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com
Find Sharman at www.sharmannittoli.com
TRANSCRIPT
Diane Dayton 0:02
This is Changing the Rules, a podcast about designing the life you want to live, hosted by KC Dempster and Ray Loewe the luckiest guy in the world.
KC Dempster 0:12
Good morning, everybody. This is KC Dempster. Welcome to Changing the rules. I am here with Ray Loewe. And we have an absolutely fascinating guest for you today. And I hope that a lot of our listeners are in my age group, because it's going to be even more meaningful to you. So we bring interesting people to our podcast, so that the luckiest people in the world, or those who want to be the luckiest people in the world can have their minds expanded as to what they see the vision of their life being.
Ray Loewe 0:45
Yeah, and I think one of the things as we look at these luckiest people in the world, we kind of see a role model, we kind of see how they did things. And sometimes we find out the things that they did wrong. But the whole idea is there's a journey to becoming one of the luckiest people in the world. And the luckiest of the luckiest continue that journey with no limit.
KC Dempster 1:07
And often they have to change rules to make their journey their own. But that's what we're all about.
Ray Loewe 1:12
Oh, yeah, you have to change the rules. Otherwise, it's absolutely no fun. So today we have our special guest add. She's a teacher, she's a musician. She's an actor. She has created music she's performed. And she's just an outstanding person and and there's no end to what she's going to do. So Sharman Nittoli. Say hi to everybody.
Sharman Nittoli 1:41
Hello, everybody.
Ray Loewe 1:43
That was that was pretty. That was pretty good. Okay, so, so So tell us you're a young lady right now that's going strong. You're in which career of your life now? 1,2,3,4,8, 10,15. Where are you?
Sharman Nittoli 2:00
Oh, gosh, it was, you know what, I almost bought some new cameras yesterday, because I had an idea to do another film. And then I stopped for a second and said, oh, let's just finish some of these other projects. So what career am I in? I don't know. I'm gonna say at least 12-13.
Ray Loewe 2:21
Okay, so let's, let's go back and give people a little history because it's fascinating. I believe I'm correct. When I say Frank, so Frank Sinatra was part of your life once upon a time.
Sharman Nittoli 2:34
Yeah, a big part of my life. big part of the journey. Yeah.
KC Dempster 2:38
Well, let's, let's go back to your start. You said that you were a classically trained pianist, or pianist?
Sharman Nittoli 2:45
Mm hmm. Yes, I was. That was my degree. Mm hmm.
KC Dempster 2:49
And then and then what did you think that that was going to be your career? how did how did you move into the path that you followed?
Sharman Nittoli 2:57
Um, I think that was the universe pushing me in different directions. But I did think I would be a teacher. And I did come out of college teaching. And I literally went to met somebody who had a band, and they said, Why don't you join the band? And I said, Okay, and I got on stage and realize, I did have classical training. But I needed a different kind of musicianship in order to function in a band. And I started listening and studying and studying and listening. And that that was a long time ago. And it's it's just been different bands, different styles, different genres, different doors to go through.
KC Dempster 3:40
You mentioned a band that was very prominent in my growing up, The Duprees.
Sharman Nittoli 3:48
Yeah. Yeah, I was the Duprees. My husband and I both for about 10 years working in the band. And I was working as the musical director on keyboards and doing arrangements. And yeah, it was a really terrific opportunity to work some major showrooms and to meet some of the classic groups that we grew up with. And just to see the enthusiasm of the people, my goodness, you could not contain them. As soon as they heard that song. they jumped on and kept where they were, they jumped on their feet and said, Honey, remember that?
KC Dempster 4:29
Yeah, that was the Rivieras and the Duprees were very large factors in my high school years. They were favorites at all the dances.
Ray Loewe 4:38
Okay, yeah. We can get caught up in the past over here, but we got to go on to the future because, because Are you willing to share with everybody your age, Sharman?
Sharman Nittoli 4:50
I'm going to be 71
Ray Loewe 4:52
Okay,
Sharman Nittoli 4:53
Seventy-one years young
Ray Loewe 4:55
and you're just starting your next career because you will From all of this performing with the stars on stage, and you're still doing some interesting things didn't you did? Didn't you just go to San Francisco not too long ago to play? Tell us tell us about the experience real quickly.
Sharman Nittoli 5:15
Well, I it was la that I work in LA for a while playing piano in a couple of the clubs, the restaurants, clubs, you know, Ray, it's really, it's just amazing that a door will close and then the phone will ring. You know, sometimes, you know what I mean? It's just the opportunity is there if you're willing to take the shot, and and I did you know, um, so yeah, that was terrific. That was a great thing.
Ray Loewe 5:44
Okay, now, you also made a movie not too long ago. Yeah, give us the short version of the movie.
Sharman Nittoli 5:52
Okay. We'll give you the short version. My husband is also a musician, and an actor who has worked as a stand in and an acting but he's working as a stan- up for Joe Pesci for many, many years. He wrote a screenplay years ago, that was about his life in the music business, which is some 60-70 years. And he just decided last year, he's, my husband is going to be 85 that he wanted to do it. So we tried to sell the script, we didn't have any luck. So he just said, Let's do this. And that's what we did. We did it. And we just, we just took it step by step. And I in my prayers every day, I always thank God for for YouTube, because YouTube saved my life! you know, I learned so much about sound and, and editing, editing was a huge job music editing, film, editing, just so many things. We finished it in a year, we decided after going the route with the festivals to put it up on Amazon Prime. And that's where it is now. Our cast. We're all mostly all friends. And a few of our friends are professional actors who happen to be in it. But the one of the main characters is Joey Long from the Four Seasons, who is was one of the characters because Alfred had worked with him before he joined the Seasons. So um, yeah, it we've bounced back and forth from the present to the past, flashbacks about how this business has changed. So so much. And, you know, there used to be music seven nights a week. There isn't anymore. God knows not right now. Right?
KC Dempster 7:34
Right. Quickly, though, tell us the name of your movie so people can go look for it.
Sharman Nittoli 7:39
It's Does The Band Eat, which is a phrase that musicians when someone is booking a band, for the weddings and such that used to be a big negotiating factor. Because if the band eats, I can give you a better price. And we would always find out that when we got there we were eating but we weren't eating what they were eating.
KC Dempster 8:01
You had the bologna sandwich on white bread with no mayonnaise, right.
Sharman Nittoli 8:06
Stale bread. Yeah. needed a toothpick to keep it all together.
Ray Loewe 8:11
Okay, I think you know those few comments, and I'd love to spend more time talking about the past. Well,
KC Dempster 8:19
I was gonna say you teach the listeners by mentioning Frank Sinatra, I think you need to ask Sharma to tell them about that.
Sharman Nittoli 8:27
Quickly, I'll give you the cliff notes. So when I graduated college, I was a classically trained and went through the folk era of the protest era and all that stuff. But I was not into jazz, and I was not into standards. But then life put me in a particular position. And also with my husband, who had had had played in bands that did that he conceived of this idea to write a song called Here's to the Musicians. That would be people like Sinatra and Tony Bennett, thanking the musicians in the band, not just the arrangers, not just the writers, but the wonderful the top of the line musicians that made it all happen. We took it to a third person, Artie Shrek who was extremely talented, and he kind of refined it and changed it up a bit and it became Here's to the Band. And after hustling is all I could say in a variety of ways. One and a half years later, the song was recorded by Frank Sinatra in 1983. And then Liza Minnelli and then Sammy Davis, Jr. and then a miss runner up for Miss America. I don't fully get that, but but it didn't matter. I got the residuals. So
KC Dempster 9:47
that's awesome.
Ray Loewe 9:47
Cool. Now Now I want to get into the future of where you're going in a minute. But But you mentioned something when we did our pre interview about you got one of these devices attached to Google. I don't Remember, it's not Alexa. And it's not Siri, I don't remember who it was. But you said something about play Sharman and what happened?
Sharman Nittoli 10:09
Right. And it played Sharman. My dream is a dream, I had to become an independent artist. And I, you know, went through a variety of changes. But at some point, I finally sat down. And again, you know, my husband helped me and produce me, we got this song done. So someone gave me a little this CD done, called Unconditionally, which you can get on Amazon and iTunes, but unconditionally is this is a song that was dedicated to our beloved dog who runs this house. And, and so I was sitting there and I say, gave me a Google music a little, the little disc, a little round thing. And I said, Hey, Google, play Sharmin and lo and behold, I heard my song and I just teared up because it was a journey. And it probably something I should have would have could have, but I didn't. But I finally got it done. And it was a joy. It's just I can't even tell you is just to have my music out there. Wonderful.
KC Dempster 11:16
No regrets, huh?
Ray Loewe 11:18
Okay, no, no, no, no. Go ahead. No, you're running. It's good. Well, let me let me tell you why Sharman is one of the luckiest people in the world. You know, we've got all this past history over here. All these wonderful things that she did, you know, playing with these big name people, building her career writing, music, all of that. But now if you go to her website, and and Sharman, what is your website? Let's tell everybody that right now.
Sharman Nittoli 11:46
Okay. So, during the last five years, I developed a project called LiveYour Bloom. I consider myself despite being an industrious hard worker for any job I ever did. But I never committed myself to my own projects, my own dreams, my own some of these songs I wrote 20 years ago, and I never recorded them. So I studied, I learned about procrastination, why we do it things that we put off all of that stuff, which makes total sense to me now. And I wrote a project off of it called Live your Bloom. Before the pandemic, I was performing it in a variety of churches. And it was such I hate to say senior groups, I, let's say, like blooming groups. And the whole point of the project is, is there something that you haven't done that you really want to do? And why aren't you doing it? Now, that that could be anything that could be dancing, it could be art, it could be reading, it could be acting, it could be anything? Is there something that is haunting you, I call it a dream seed that you planted a long time ago, and you just never watered and by this time, you built up such a wall of those limiting beliefs. It's too late. I'm too old, who cares, it's a waste of money. It's this, this and this, but if it's still in your head, it needs to be born. And and that's what my project is about. I have a group of on Facebook, I call them bloomers that we, we get together and support each other. I have a course that I just developed, I'm just going to be releasing it in a couple of weeks called It's Your Time to Bloom. Because people have a number of reasons why they don't address it. But I think as long as you're breathing, even if your health is limiting, but you're still moving and thinking, I think you can you can you can pay attention to your dream, develop it, and you're going to be a lot happier, a lot more fulfilled if you just reprioritize and put yourself at the top instead of the bottom, because the bottom never gets done.
KC Dempster 14:09
Right. And I think you said excuse me, that when you retired, which people have in their own understanding of what that means that you were going to work as hard for yourself as you had worked for others.
Sharman Nittoli 14:23
That's right. And, and I did. Although the beautiful thing about being retired is that when I'm I am truly tired, because maybe I've been working hard or I just feel like if I want to put my feet up for the day, and watch reruns. That's what I do. And I have I have learned not to feel guilty about it. But I will tell you when I did my CD the first one, 12 hours a day I was working, I was living in my pajamas second CD I did with my husband, same thing you know, it's just you just immerse yourself. In it, and it's joyful. It's frustrating. There's anxiety, but you're, you're, you're so close to that thing that you've been bottled up for so long. And you're living it. And there's just no feeling like it. And the movie, forget about that. That was just I can't even tell you I read, I literally was living in the same pair of pajamas at one point for two weeks. Just walking like a crazy person, you know? It I mean, joyful, but stressful, but good. And then you go back, and you can always think of 1000 things you should have would have could have. But there's just something to be said for getting it done getting it out there and moving on with all the new knowledge and experience you've gained from that, from that exposure from what you did?
Ray Loewe 15:54
You know, it's a shame. You're not passionate about this. You know, you had you had five quotes on your website, and I pulled them off, because I want to talk about them briefly. Some of them we mentioned, but but I think they deserve some emphasis. You know, the first thing that you said is there's a lot of limiting beliefs about aging. And you hit that a little bit, but but there's no reason I, you know, no reason to stop, other than the fact that you think you're getting old, right?
Sharman Nittoli 16:24
Yeah, I mean, chronologically, sure, you know, I'm definitely on the other side of the halfway mark, you know, but and I, and I, you know, I have aches and pains. I was a rock and roll musician, I was a keyboard player, I carried all that stuff, you know, right. And we, I have my aches and pains, I have my issues, I have my things. But, you know, you find how can I deal with this. As long as you can deal and keep moving, you keep moving. Because sometimes we have things thrust upon us that we cannot change and control and adapt to. But as long as we're breathing and moving, there's always something to be done that will expand our mind. And I'm a big believer that you expand your mind and become a happier person, you're going to effect that kind of happiness and joy in the world. We need more of that open mind, you know, those open minds, you know what I mean? Ray? It's just, we are so closed and polarized, we just, well, it's not something you can read about in a book to fix. I think it's just something that has to come from inside.
Ray Loewe 17:32
Well, and it comes from people like you and having conversations with other people like you. And you know, the there's another comment you made that I want you to comment on. And it's the difference between living and just existing.
Sharman Nittoli 17:46
Yeah, yeah.
Ray Loewe 17:48
You're you're living now. But But look at all the friends that you have. And I know I have that are existing because they're not letting themselves. They're limited by their aging, put it that way.
KC Dempster 17:59
Well, and I think that Sharman threw a word out in her last comments call, she said expand. And that's something that that we always talk about with the luckiest people in the world. They're constantly expanding their horizons, you know, whether it's places they want to go things that they want to do. You just you, you know, if you continue to expand, and and if you continue to be an open minded, interesting person, that's who you draw to you.
Sharman Nittoli 18:28
Yeah, that's true. That's true. KC. Yeah. And you know, what I was thinking the other day is like, with our kids and our grandkids, and certainly with all of my students, didn't I spend a lot of time trying to guide them in that direction? What's your purpose? What are you interested in? What do you want to do? What can we do to back that up to give you the tools you're going to need? And we do that for our kids, So Why don't we do that for ourselves? So, yes, somewhere along the line, it becomes all about everybody else, and not about us.
Ray Loewe 19:03
Well, here's the next comment that you made on your website. And I think we bring it out to everybody. What a joyful, amazing feeling to be living the best part of my life right now. It's you It's, that's your comment. That's your quote. And I want it is going to be my quote, too, because because it's so true. Why put a limit all this fits together, there's no limit. And you can you can, it's all what's happening in your mind and your passion. So I think this is absolutely wonderful. Sharman, I think you're doing a great a great job. Now you did a great job in the past, taking care of all those music people. Okay, and you're not done. Okay. Add your last comment on here is I want to share what I've learned with you. So how are you doing that? How can we help you do that?
Sharman Nittoli 19:56
Well, two ways if people are interested Did they can go to my website, just Sharmannittoli.com, short and sweet, where I talk about the program, the Facebook site I have where I do live concerts and sometimes go live. And we talk about things that are standing in people's ways. A lot of what stands in people's ways that we try to address is that other people don't approve of what up their choices they're making now. And so we talk about claiming your time and being able to say no, and these are real problems. And the other way is, I'm launching this course at some point, but I'm going to do a whole bunch of online talking about the course and about the the the tools that are needed in order to how can I say this, some people come up to me and say, like, I really want to dance. And if you say to them, what's stopping you, I, you know, you're not in a wheelchair, so what's stopping you? And they'll be oh my husband doesn't want me to waste the money. And I don't want that, that, that of that data. And I and I'm like, Well, what would happen if you just said, I'm doing this? Deal with it? And it's gonna make me happier and have I'm happier, you're happier? And isn't that a good thing? Aren't you happy that I want to expand myself, you know? So, but to start with, I would just ask if people would like to come on my site. And if they are happy with what they see, subscribe by communicate with. I'm always sending out communications about articles that I'm reading and things I'm, I'm coming across that can help us all, live, this part of our life with joy is not just living and living can't just be well, I got all my medications on the table I got I got this, I got that no that. There's more, there's more.
Ray Loewe 21:57
Well, you know, everybody, I have to tell you, you have to go to Sharman's website, and we're gonna post the website, you know, with our with our podcast notes. But she's got snippets of music that she and her husband have done and are doing together some of the stuff that she she's done in the past. It's just, it's a joyful website, and Sharman, you know, the best of luck to you. You don't need the lock, you're good just going to be making happen. And this last quote, and I want to end with this, what a joyful, amazing feeling to be living the best part of my life now. And that's why you are one of the luckiest people in the world. And Sharman, thanks so much for being with us.
Sharman Nittoli 22:43
Oh, my pleasure. And I just want to compliment you both on this program. This was just just was just a wonderful thing to discover. And I'm honored to be here. Thank you so much.
Ray Loewe 22:54
Okay, well, we'll be in touch. And KC, tell us what's going to happen next week? Well, no, because I haven't told you.
KC Dempster 23:00
That's right. But I'm sure we're gonna have another wonderful, interesting person to talk to. And so everybody keep coming back because we've got great stuff for you.
Ray Loewe
All right, everybody. And thanks, Taylor, and thanks, everybody, for being here.
Diane Dayton 23:15
Thank you for listening to Changing the Rules, a podcast designed to help you live your life the way you want, and give you what you need to make it happen. Join us in two weeks for our next exciting topic on changing the rules with KC Dempster and Ray Loewe, luckiest guy in the world.