This week we were joined by Will Becker. He talked with us about his time in transition and through one of the courses offered on our website theluckiestpeopleintheworld.com how it really helped him. He took some needed time to figure out what his "unique ability" is and by doing that he was able to Change the Rules in his search for a new job. He shares with us where this new job is taking him. If you haven't figured out what your "unique ability" is, it's a must-do on the journey to discovering who you truly are.
Guest Co-host: Kris Parsons: kris@parsons-pr.com
Kris' website: https://parsons-pr.com/
Podcast Guest: Will Becker: wbecker123@gmail.com
Transcription:
Kris Parsons00:02
Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.
Ray Loewe00:16
This is your lively host you know I'm not sure how lively I am this morning, but we're here in our wonderful podcast studio in Woodbury, New Jersey wildfire podcast. And we're here with our engineer Taylor. And we're here with our two guests, our co-host, Kris Parsons, who will introduce in a minute, and Will Becker, the famous Will Becker, by the way, okay. And let me remind you of what we're all about to start with we call our podcast, changing the rules. And it's because we have too many rules in life, and rules tend to get in the way and when we're obeying all the rules we're living somebody else's life. Okay. So the key is to be able to sift and sort through the rules and make them work for us. And when we do that, we get the freedom to live our own life. And we're talking about the luckiest people in the world that do that. Because when you're able to live your own life, you feel lucky, you feel happy, you know, things tend to go well, it's not the simplest thing in the world. There's some struggles that go on in here. And we have a new book coming out, which we're going to announce shortly. It's guess what it's called the luckiest people in the world, you know, and we talk some somewhat in the air about the mindsets, the luckiest people in the world have. And today, you're going to see one particularly come forward. And that is that we all have a personal brand. And the luckiest people in the world know who they are. And they know how they show up with that brand. And once they do that, they're able to tweak it, they're able to make that part of life work for them. And life gets better and better and better. So kris Parsons, Parsons, PR? Yes, I got that. Right. That right? I should we've known each other for how long? It's been about at least four years, maybe at least. Oh, it's not 400. It's only four?
Kris Parsons02:19
only four.
Ray Loewe02:20
only four. And Kris is our co-host this month, she also is our PR person. And Kris, why don't you introduce yourself and then introduce our guest?
Kris Parsons02:30
I will. Thank you. Thank you, Ray. Yes, I'm excited to I actually got a chance to read the book The draft, first-time last night. So I'm very excited. It's a wonderful book. It's a great. It's a great guide and a lot of exciting, interesting stories. So well. Will Becker, Will Becker is a friend of mine his family, we've been friends. We've been friends for more than four years, right? Probably 10-15. I don't know. Yeah. closer to 15. At this point, yeah, we do it by our kids, right. And when our kids get older,
Ray Loewe02:56
You're getting me jealous. There's another man in your life?
Kris Parsons02:59
There's another man, I'm sorry. And including my husband's Oh, okay. But that's neither here nor there. Anyway, Will, we are good friends, but also Will is a wonderful professional. He's an IT professional. He's in the financial services and insurance industry. And he focuses on business and quality assurance analysis. He has been employed at Aqua soft for the past three years. And he leads the business analysis team for them. It's a big team for the US region. Now, Will was introduced to Ray about, I don't know, maybe two years ago, a year and a half ago, when he was in transition your 15 years working for other insurance carriers, right. And then this was before he joined Aqua soft. He took one of Ray's courses. And that's available on our website. Right, Ray? Yes, ma'am. Okay, and he says it changed the course of his career by helping him see a different side of himself. And that side proved to be the one that landed in this region, his job at Aqua soft, which is exciting. So we want to hear about that story Will, how about you tell us a little bit about what course you took? And what did it say about yourself that was very insightful to you? Yeah.
Will Becker04:10
Great. Thanks, Kris. Good morning. Good morning, Ray. Thanks for having me back. Good morning. It's nice to see you after three, three years. So it's not like
Kris Parsons04:19
And COVID where we've been virtually seeing each other, right?
Will Becker04:21
Yes. So yeah, so I can give you a little background of how I met Ray. And when I was going through transition, I was probably out of work, three, four months, trying to find my next position after 15 years working for the same company. And as I did that, I struggled to figure out like your term right brand, trying to figure out who I am and who I wanted to be and my next phase of a career, and I took the courses that Ray offered started with the Kolbe A and learned some more data analytics way of looking at myself. And I transitioned over to the second phase of that was a unique ability test and That really opened my eyes to trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be. I was struggling a little bit in trying to figure out what jobs to apply for. Is this really the position I want long-term I wasn't looking to job hop. And the unique ability really opened my eyes to internalize what I am as a person, what I am as an employee when I am as a leader to other people that work for the company I work at, and where I was wanting to go. And it really steered me in a direction where I was able to take a position at Aqua soft because it felt right to my brand and who I am, as I learned through the unique ability,
Ray Loewe05:39
You know you made a statement that I absolutely love. And that is you want it to be the same Will at home, as you are at the office.
Will Becker05:48
Yeah, Ray. That's probably the biggest eye-opener I had. And it's a simple way of describing my view of life. And how you helped me bridge that.
Ray Loewe05:57
You know let's go back a little bit. I mean, it because I remember when we started having our first conversations, and you're like a whole lot of other people, you know, you're between jobs, and you let go for whatever reason, and usually has nothing to do with you. It has to do with corporate downsizing, or somebody changed their mind somewhere. And you've got to feel like you're under tremendous pressure. And the pressure is to conform to the rules. The rules, say, you know, I got to go out and get a job, and I don't care what job it is, I just got to get a job. So I got money putting on the table. And you know, it's one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of people make. And sometimes it's what you have to do. But when you have the luxury of finding out who you are. And you know, can you talk a little bit about how your job interviews changed, once you all of a sudden realized the Will you want to combine Will, the home Will, and the business Will.
Will Becker06:57
So I'll tell you that the biggest lesson I learned was being when you're the home person, it's you are at work, you become the natural person of who you are at work. And so you've become very genuine in the interview process. And so when I struggled with when I was before that I would go to an interview. And I think I was giving them the answer I needed to provide to get the position. And what I realized was once I wanted to be the same person at home as I am at work, and I figured out what that meant to me and how to describe that and influence. People during the interview. The interview became a conversation, right? There wasn't enough time to continue the dialogue, we flowed, there was no boundaries to the question and answer it, was tell me about who you are. And two hours later, I look up and they're making an offer because it felt natural. I knew on my side of the equation that it was the right home for me to go to at least explore its long-term career for me. And for them, it was an easy no-brainer, because I made it easy on them to see the value that I could bring to the table. Yep.
Ray Loewe07:57
So now you're part of an organization and you're obviously doing your thing and making huge contributions. Because I think you told me when you entered your employee number 364. We're up to 750. Yeah. And doesn't it feel great to be part of a growing organization where you fit?
Will Becker08:17
Yeah, that's the most exciting piece of it is that you get two things with that one, you get to be part of the success, but you also get to influence the success. And that was what keeps me excited about going to work every day.
Ray Loewe08:29
Okay, so you made another revelation during our pre-interview, which I thought was unbelievable. And let me just bring up the boss that didn't like me. Oh, yeah.
Will Becker08:41
No, I think she just didn't understand me. And I think that's probably most people go through that challenge is trying to fit into an organization that was small and growing. So there's a core group of associates to just know each other and they just do what they need. And then you have those that are trying to inject themselves into that environment. And it's a challenge. So I had this boss who was on a project for a good six months, and I felt I was doing the right things struggling as a new employee. But in the end, I learned to find out pretty quickly that the upper leadership did not like me. I was not delivering their own expectations. And she was very blunt about it to me that she almost hesitated about considering either one letting me go and two never bringing in someone who came from the insurance side. Forget. So that was a rude awakening. I'll tell you, Ray.
Ray Loewe09:30
Yeah, but what happened? What was the end result?
Will Becker09:34
So a patient slid out so I was able to transition to a different project where it took and embraced my natural skills. So the first project I didn't feel like I was being the natural person that I thought I said I would be at the company. And then when I moved to a different client, the reviews and feedback coming from the new client was raving and they've said, Well, maybe I'll take a second look on who you are. And so this boss came to me about two years later, after having hesitancy, and asked me to come in and support a project in Australia. And my role was to come in as a traffic cop and kind of lead them through process reorientation. And it really focuses on how we do things at Aqua soft. And it kind of shocked me right? To be honest, like I was the ambassador for this, after having such a hard start to the horizon, the to delivering the way we deliver. And so what I ended up doing was getting on these calls every night. And at the end of my first week, I was asked to write an email that went all the way up to the CEO of both companies. And she wrote back to me the next day, she goes who is this person? She didn't really she's like, dude, how did I not know you had all this engagement skill in you that you could give a message so eloquently to the client, that she could talk up to the leaders as well as to the people doing the work, and her eyes just opened up. And she's been a big fan of mine ever since. And.
Ray Loewe10:52
Well, that's because you are who you are. And, who you are, is probably pretty good. It seems right.
Kris Parsons10:59
Well, that kind of leads into what we were talking about as well, the perception, right? We have a perception of ourselves, but other people have a perception of us. And sometimes it's good to look outside what you think and find out what did you call that your unique ability? Yes. So tell us that little exercise you did that I think everybody could do I mean, I got to go home and do it myself.
Will Becker11:20
So some of the beauties of Ray's program that I found most useful is the unique ability assessment. And so that was a simple task where Ray asked me to email and write to my 10 closest people that I may know whether they were work associates or friends or family, and ask them the simple question, tell me the one thing that makes me unique to you. And I got all the feedback. And I analyzed it. And I found four to five came back with the same response, which was you help make complex things simple. And that became to I think I like your term, Ray, brand. Yes, your brand, it really helped me keep a perspective, like, this is my value, I've realized I don't have value across everything nobody does. But if I can emphasize one aspect of who I am, to my family, to my friends, and to my employer, is that concept, to keep things simple.
Ray Loewe12:10
Well, you know, you just said something that I want to comment on because it's really important and really interesting. And that is, we aren't the same value to everybody. Exactly. And I think that's really important for us to understand. And you know, when you're looking for a job it's especially important. See if you can match your value to the values that are needed by the organization. If you can take a project that you're on and match your values to those values, then all of a sudden, everything shows up. Great. And when it doesn't it, you're like a fish out of water. And I think that the biggest lesson that you are practicing right now is that you're not afraid to be you because you have confidence that you are a wonderful person, you're you know, I am who I am, you know, you take me for what I am Yes, I'll tweak things a little bit here and there to make things go. And do you speak Australian now?
Will Becker13:12
I can interpret it in my head, but not quite.
Kris Parsons13:15
Well, it also goes to the fact that you were talking about the interview process. I mean, it's true. People even though they have a whole list of job descriptions and qualities and responsibilities, people want to know that they can work with you, people want to know that they can talk to you day in and day out and have a good relationship with you. So it really is a relationship. And like he said it turned into a conversation, right? It wasn't an interview. And then right there people go, yeah, this guy will fit in fine. Right. So so I think that's being your genuine self is what's important. And it's a lot harder than you think, in all of us have done the interviews all of us have gone out and you know, end up trying to conform to what we think they want, when really in actuality we should just really be ourselves. Yeah.
Ray Loewe13:57
I think so too. And so one of the things that you're doing now is I think you find yourself both as a manager and a coach, you want to comment on the relationship there?
Will Becker14:08
Yeah, I think it's actually inseparable, right. So as many times we get managers, I tend to use the term leader. So where I try to influence people is to help people understand that now in my team, but others in the organization is to realize that every day is not going to be easy. Some days are going to be natural, and some aren't. But every time I get a chance where someone comes to me and says it doesn't feel right, I'm having hesitation about either a specific assignment or maybe even the role in the company. I tend to pull them aside and I try to break it down simple for them to listen, you have to look within yourself, kind of coach them to their strengths again, so they can start feeling value, and then give them a path forward on how to overcome and succeed in the areas they don't feel like they're, making great inroads on And to your point of being a coach, there's no boundaries to that. So it doesn't have to be somebody reports to Me, and Ray, I know you didn't plan this, but I got a phone call from another leader this morning at my company, who I have to call after this call to kind of help coach them through some of the struggles, they're going through with the role that they're in now and help them see the light at the end of the tunnel that they'll get there with some guidance.
Ray Loewe15:16
And all those because you're being you.
Will Becker15:20
And that's why they reached out to Ray, to be honest. I mean, they felt that could be a natural delivery of that experience. And I can share the story I shared with you about my initial struggles. In parallel, this person's going through a similar challenge themselves. And it helps people to understand that they're not in it alone, that there is a way to get to the successful end of the road.
Ray Loewe15:38
Cool. So we've kind of talked about where you were, and where do you see yourself going in your company? What do you see yourself doing? How are you going to amplify on all this? I know, that's really an unfair question.
Will Becker15:52
No, it's a good one, because actually, I think now that I've kind of bridged the senior leadership and understand them, understanding who I am and what values I can have, I've been given some internal training. So we're getting some training on leadership that I accept because there's never enough training, right? There's always something you can learn and grow within your company. And it's nice that they're offering it. And the second piece is I've been enjoying this part more being brought in to help coach other leaders at the company. Because I did come with 15 years of management and leadership experience. It just only happens to be about two years where I'm at now. So they're recognizing that experience, and then I can help coach other newer leaders into a more mature leadership style.
Kris Parsons16:33
What you mean, we're not only hiring young people that have one year of experience? Age is really good you mean.
Ray Loewe16:41
Age is a good thing. Age is a good thing. So the next question, let's go off into a different value. You have a couple of kids at home. Okay. So and they're teenagers, I think, right?
Will Becker16:53
Yeah, 16 and one's 12. So they're okay, they're there.
Ray Loewe16:57
So here you are, you have this whole unique ability thing that you're growing with? How does this translate down into your kids and the advice that you give them? And where are we going?
Will Becker17:08
Yeah, that's another area Ray where there's no boundary, right? So yeah, the experience that I had going through the unique ability, I've shared it with both my children. So my older son is starting to look at colleges, and he's a junior in high school, and he's having those questions. Where do I go? What do I do, and what I shared with him is you really want to go down that path that makes you most comfortable as a natural fit. So don't try to pick a school that aligns just because that's where they say you should go or it's the cool place to go. Second, is when you're looking at what you want to learn and study, it has to be something you're interested in, you can't be something that's just because it makes money, or that's what the other kids are doing. It has to be you it has to fit you. So I've asked him to start thinking about himself in the same context, I did on the unique ability, so he could do it at a younger age to try to figure out what makes him unique and special to others.
Ray Loewe17:59
Yeah, this is pretty heavy stuff for a 16-year-old. But you know, it works. And I remember going back to our old college money days when what we were doing was helping people get into college and figuring out how to pay for the darn thing. And you know, we found out that there are three kinds of colleges out there. And there's an example that actually makes sense in here. But there are those that are kind of the snotty colleges that set their rules and you don't break the rules okay. There's a whole bunch that are designed for their state colleges that don't have a lot that they can give, you know, again, you play their rules. And there's a whole bunch of colleges in the middle, a lot of them that are really looking for kids who want to be there. And when they find that match, the money comes on the table correct. Okay. And not only does money come on the table, but the whole experience is a better experience. Because you see these kids today dropping out of college and stuff like that. So I think the wisdom that you're imparting to your son over here about figuring out what's really important to you, and you know, you got to understand is going to change. Yeah, you should want to be a fireman.
Will Becker19:13
The easiest part about it isn't because it's such a simple question to ask. kids understand it, and they're a lot smarter than we may give them credit for, and what they want and where they want to go. It's getting it out of them to understand as parents, and I think to us while it seems like a serious topic, but it's a really easy bridge to a simple car ride conversation.
Ray Loewe19:36
Cool, cool. Yeah, we'll bring you in as a counselor to kids now.
Kris Parsons19:42
That chapter of the book.
Ray Loewe19:44
Unfortunately, we're getting near the end of our time here. So Kristine, do you have any last questions you want to ask Will or any comments you want to make?
Kris Parsons19:51
Ah, well, not really, other than if there's any one phrase that you would say to anybody else that wanted to either take one of the courses or get involved with the friend's connection or all the things that are in our luckiest people in the world wheelhouse. What would you say?
Will Becker20:06
I would say start the path down and try to figure out which courses fit you best. I think that's what I learned, you know, I've done some of these analytic ones before, and it was a nice supplement. But it took me the next step to get to the unique ability that really opened my eyes and I live it now going forward, Ray. It's not just an activity.
Ray Loewe20:20
And I remember we were starting it was like, twisting arms to get you to take it because you never had enough time. Right? Right. That's right. And this is a really important thing. The good things take time, you have to create time to be one of the luckiest people in the world. And unfortunately, life moves us. Correct. And sometimes it's like a roller coaster, you just don't have any choice. Okay, so any last comments you want to make Will or any final things that you want to say?
Will Becker20:57
I would just like to end it Ray that I appreciate all the work you do for coaching people. I mean, it's hard enough to find good advice, let alone consistent, good advice. And we've now met over three years. And I can say every day I wake up, I get a chance to learn from our engagements when we've had them. And again, it does, it doesn't bet itself. So to anyone that's interested in I do recommend reaching out to Ray
Ray Loewe21:22
Gee, I feel like I have to pat myself on the back. But no, thank you for being you. First of all, thank you for being a guest here and thank you for being an example and there's no question you're going to be successful moving forward, both in your, the Will at work and the Will at home, which by the way is one Will.
Kris Parsons21:42
Same person now.
Ray Loewe21:43
Same person one Will, okay, so, next week, we're going to be back with another great guest and we're going to explore the luckiest people in the world and what they do to make themselves lucky. And everybody have a great day. Thank you much.
Kris Parsons22:00
Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.