This week we talked with Margit Novack. Margit shares with us about living her best life. She achieved has transitioned and embraced uncertainty after selling her business. She talked with us about being the best "me" in the next phase. She wrote a book where she shares her story and her story is a part of other's stories. She brings a unique perspective and a different way of looking at life.
Guest Co-host: Cecily Laidman: CLaidman@springpointsl.org
Cecily's Website: https://springpointsl.org/
Podcast Guest: Margit Novack: margitnovack@gmail.com
Margit's Website: https://margitnovack.com/
Transcription:
Kris Parsons00:04
Welcome to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do it too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.
Ray Loewe00:23
Good morning, everybody. This is Ray Loewe. And today, I am not in the studio, we have Taylor in the studio, I'm sitting in my own little living unit over here, we have two guests with us, we have Cecily Laidman who is also at home working from home today. And we have Margit Novack, our superstar today, and you're going to love hearing about what she's doing. So in retrospect, let me tell you a little bit about our show, changing the rules because it was put here to kind of introduce some of the luckiest people in the world, to everybody. You know, for some reason, there's a group of people out there that just seem to have it all together, they seem to be able to find their way through adversity, they have goals and objectives or visions of where they want to go. And they find a way to get there under their own terms. And the changing the rules comes in, you know, we're all given rules all over the place. We had rules from school, rules from our parents, rules from the church, rules from our jobs. And you know, after a while, they get in the way and one of the problems with rules is they either tell us that we have to do something, or we can't do something. And the luckiest people in the world design their own lives and live them under their own terms. And you can't do that with somebody else's rules. Now, we all need rules, because we need some structure in our life. But the idea is the luckiest people have found a way somehow to make those rules work for that. And we have two guests today, both of whom have altered the rules to make them work for them. And we're going to start with Cecily. Cecily has been our co-host this month of September. And she has set up some meetings and interviews with some wonderful people. And she has another one today. So Cecily runs, she is the chief honcho, the big Maha of SpringPoint choice. You know, there may be others with higher titles, but she's the one who really runs the show. And springpoint choice is a care at home program that I have to say I've been fortunate enough to be part of for the last 10 years or so. And it's a place that gives us security of knowing where we're going. And Cecily thank you for bringing me to that program and say hi,
Cecily Laidman03:02
Well, hi, Ray, thank you so much. Um, you know, changing the rules or bending the rules has been my mantra, I think most of my life. And running this program called springpoint choice has been a real thrill and something I've always wanted to do. But kind of to segue and to our guests today is interesting because I got into the senior living field about 18 or 19 years ago, and I was working in a wonderful retirement community. And I was doing the marketing and talking to people who want to move in. And of course, the big challenge that a lot of people face when they're moving is what am I going to do with all this stuff? How do I move it? Oh my gosh, I really like to stay at home. Yeah. Well, that's where I first met our guest who's Margit Novak, she had a company called I hope I can say the name of it moving solutions. I don't know if there's any restrictions on saying that. Anyway, um, when I first met Margit, I knew that you know, I was the luckiest person in the world because she had is a dynamo. She is, um, she's got her act together. And she gets other people's acts together by helping them organize and pair down things etc. So I've known her for quite some time. And then, you know, now I'm in the same industry, but doing a little different twist, which is people instead of going into a community, they are able to remain in their home. But the cool part about it as a Margit has continued to be in the senior living industry. And it's even just written a book about, about things that change in your life and how to look forward And not make assumptions about what happens when you're becoming, having those numbers in your age. Grow up and up and up. So, Margit, welcome.
Margit Novack05:14
Thank you very much. I'm delighted to be here. Thanks for having me.
Ray Loewe05:19
Okay, Margit, I'm going to lead off with the first question. So you're a Philadelphian? Yes. Born and bred, okay, we share an alma mater, course you're much younger than I am so that you went there later than I did. And now you share time and a senior living place in the Philadelphia area and a second home on the Chesapeake Is that correct? That's correct. And hopefully, you're on the Chesapeake today.
Margit Novack05:51
Actually, it's a little river for the St. Martin's River. I'm not too far from the Atlantic Ocean buffer, west of Ocean City, Maryland, and I am there. And just yesterday, I was kayaking. So I do feel pretty lucky.
Ray Loewe06:11
There are some people that really have their lives together Cecily and then there's me. Okay, so So, Margit, you were known in your past life as the queen of downsizing, I believe.
Margit Novack06:27
Well, that was certainly my self-proclaimed title. But I was widely recognized as an expert in the field of downsizing and moving late-life transitions, yes.
Ray Loewe06:39
Okay. So that was in the past. And now you are doing what?
Margit Novack06:43
I was incredibly fortunate to arrive in my mid-40s. At a career that excited me. And where I learned that I could put my passion and skills in something that I really believed in, and it isn't often that people have an opportunity to find that wonderful meeting, the confluence of what they are good at what they believe in, something they can earn a living in. So I do feel that that made me incredibly lucky. And I did that for 25 years, I had a job, a business I never wanted to retire from. But ultimately, it is it becomes time to leave a business, I achieved every entrepreneur's dream, which is to sell my business and monetize all those years and hours. And that's what enabled us to buy a second home. And but I think it was COVID. That caused me to sit back, it was a time when I had just left my paid title and work. And it was forced, I'm forced, moving back. But it made me think about what's important. And I have been thinking about embracing uncertainty. And that's what I've learned to do in this time, this next phase of my life, I don't know where I'm going completely, I wrote a book. And that was both gratifying to do and I've, I really enjoyed the conversations with people about it. I thought I was a person who would have to go immediately towards something. And many people do that they go right, what even if that's taking care of their grandchildren what or a job that they've been waiting to do, or they even continue working part-time in their prior career. I'm not doing that I'm figuring out how to be the best me in this next phase. And it's even in the uncertainty, I'm finding that there's a lot of joy, and also a lot of mindfulness. Of what I have, and that that mindfulness enriches today. You know, mindfulness was a word I kept hearing about, but I think it took COVID to make me sit back and recognize that I need to be more intentional about my time, about relationships about what's important. So that has been how I'm going forward.
Ray Loewe08:41
That's cool. I love this. You're searching for the best me Cecily's found that already she already knows she's the best me. I am nowhere near figuring out how you even figure out who is the best me. But let's go back to your book a little bit. You took some time to write a book and it's called squint and it's kind of a strange name. Okay. But what's squit all about?
Margit Novack10:07
Squit is about looking at your life and some of your personal narrative, and recognizing that one getting seen that there was a new perspective as you were older, and that causes you to revise some parts of your personal narrative. There are a lot of stories, my stories are part of a lot of larger stories. And what I found is that, as people read those stories, they're able to say, wow, that's something I can really relate to that this really gives me a perspective, change perspective about something in my life. So for example, I had, I wrote about, in one story, I'm visiting some clients, and there's a mother there with her daughter, and the mother. I'm trying to establish rapport. So I asked the mother questions, how long have you lived in your home? And she graciously says, Welcome. I've lived here for 37 years. And then her daughter says, No, Mom, it's 39 years, the mother stops, the story, because she's been corrected, and it really stops your flow. And later, the mom is take, I asked her for a tour of her home, and she's really taking pride in showing me things that are home, and she points to a picture and goes, I'm there with my grandson, Kevin. And she goes, No mom, that's Geoffrey. And again, the mother stops her story. And I'm thinking to myself, why are these details important? Whether she lived in her home for 37, or 39, is not important. She's telling a story. And every time she is corrected by her daughter, it makes her recognize that she's not 100%. If it makes her sad, if it diminishes the joy she was going to take in telling a story, we do take joy in telling stories and retelling stories. And I know that if that daughter thought about it, she would choose to be kind, she wouldn't choose to hurt her mom. And what I loved is this is just one part of a story. But a friend who read someone who read the story, read my book, texted me and said, that is exactly what she's doing with her own mother-in-law. And it was only in reading about someone else's story, that she was able to recognize what she is doing with someone who she loves, and wouldn't choose to hurt. But it's such a natural inclination to correct. So when someone says I saw myself in one of those stories, that's a wonderful thing for a writer.
Cecily Laidman13:11
Margit, did you give that daughter one of your books to read by any chance?
Margit Novack13:17
I, you know, it was years ago, but I hope she reads it. Yes, It would've been correcting the daughter. True.
Cecily Laidman13:26
No, opening her eyes, because I think you make when you're different generations make assumptions about other generations. And, you know, once you change, or transition into the next generation, all of a sudden, your outlook is a little different than the assumption you made when you were younger.
Margit Novack13:46
You know, one of the stories that I really hit me is I heard two women talking and they were I guess, in their 50s. And one said to the other, how are your parents? And she said, Oh, you know, they're deteriorating. And I thought to myself deteriorating? What about? Well, they have some challenges. Mobility is hard, or my mom's been sick, but they're, they're resilient. They're making due they need more help, but and that's what I thought about my elderly pets. Now anyone who's ever had a senior dog or senior cat knows that their last year is often challenging. With my cat, he couldn't groom himself. I had to brush him. He missed the litter box. I we had to actually make a little lower litter box because he couldn't step up into it because of his arthritis. And he couldn't jump on my husband's chair to sit on his lap. So we got him steps so he could remain an independent cat and make it up to the chair all by himself. And I think anyone who has an old pet if you asked how they're doing, they would say terrific. Every day they bring me joy. And every day they have joy, even though they're not who they were, they find ways to take pleasure. And yet, we don't think about older adults who are losing abilities as having that same kind of enjoyment out of life, or the ability to enjoy, all we see is what they've lost. And it's just interesting how generous we are with our pets. And how we think they are having a good life. And how ungenerous we are with older adults, and how we often wonder, but how could they have a good life, if they have certain disabilities or struggles. And it's, it's not correct, because they're, you don't have to be whole, to still be worthwhile or to take pleasure things.
Ray Loewe15:53
You talk a lot or you we had a previous conversation, and you were talking a lot about waiting for perfection makes us smaller. And let's talk about this concept of becoming smaller in life and what do we do about it?
Margit Novack16:10
I think there is a real hesitancy, to look at changes and say, How can I keep my life larger. My husband had hip replacement surgery about four years ago. And about five months prior to his plan surgery, he said, we're not going to as many places we're not doing as much and our lives are getting smaller, let's get a mobility scooter. And I was really surprised when he suggested that. But I immediately got on Facebook marketplace. And by the end of the week, we had a scooter. And we used it and we went and we did things and I see so many people now so hesitant to get mobility aids or aids in their home different modifications that would enable them to experience life easier. They're not willing to see themselves potentially as needing, as needing assistance. And that's so different from a call I received years ago from a man who said, I don't know if you remember me, you moved me about 15 years ago to a community and I did remember him, he was in his mid-80s. He said, Well, I'm going to be 100. And I live in an independent living apartment that is the farthest away possible from the main dining room. And I'm finding that I'm not going to as many events as I used to, and I'm sometimes having my meal delivered to me rather than walk to the dining room, and my life is getting smaller, and I don't want that. So I'm going to move to an apartment in the building A that's closest to the dining room. And I love that a 100-year-old didn't want his life to get smaller and was taking action to create an environment in which he could have a larger life. And that's what I think too many people don't do, their life gets smaller, and they don't take action in ways that would enable it to get larger and that could be getting a scooter, it could be moving to an environment that allowed them to have more mobility or freedom. I really admired this individual and I wish all of us would be thinking about how do I keep my life larger?
Ray Loewe18:53
Is this the subject of your book is this. Are these stories in your book Squint or many of them?
Margit Novack 18:59
Many of them are in my book. Yes. Okay.
Ray Loewe19:02
You know, we're gonna run out of time as we always do, but again, in a previous conversation, we were talking about the concept of buying tickets. And it's so enlightened me we have to talk about buying.
Margit Novack19:16
I love the concept of buying tickets. It comes from an old joke of someone who says, God, why won't you let us win the lottery. I never win the lottery. Why don't you let me win the lottery? And God says, help me out here, buy a ticket. And I think life is like that. I mean, there are a lot of challenges as we get older. But if you buy tickets, there's also some opportunity for new experiences. That doesn't mean life doesn't change. But it puts some onus on us to create an opportunity for new experiences. Um, I'm visiting some friends over Thanksgiving, some family members. And I said, let's get to cooking, let's book a cooking class. And he and my husband said, You're the worst cook in the world, why would you book a cooking class, and I said, I don't care really about the class, I'd like to experience it. But I'll be doing something with people that I care about. That's the that's what I want to do. I want to have new experiences, be with people I care about. buy tickets, which, which means creating opportunity. This past week, I started the mitzvah club of teal Bay, it's a group of five women who are getting together to do good things. Or to have purpose, it's about companionship in purpose, it's less about what we'll do, then about wanting to get together for purpose and create meaning in our lives. And that's buying tickets. Um, so I like the book. I'm still confronting uncertainty, but I'm embracing it, to experience this next phase. With joy with, with curiosity. And feeling that I'm one of the luckiest people in the world.
Ray Loewe21:27
Well, you are one of the luckiest people in the world. And we're going to send you a coffee mug that says your one just because you are but Cecily, to kind of help, wind up what kind of comments Do you have, and you have any further questions of Margit?
Cecily Laidman21:41
Well, I think I always love listening to Margit because she makes you think about things. And she can sometimes bring out the obvious that you haven't seen. And a total inspiration I feel and the fact that she was so successful in her business, and now she's in whatever the next phases, like she said, and you know, writing a book during COVID, you know, kind of do more self-reflection, in a way when you're kind of sequestered in your house, there are a lot of little silver linings to the COVID challenges. And if anybody could, you know, make lemonade out of lemons, that's Margit. And I'm just, I'm very lucky to call her a friend, as well.
Ray Loewe22:36
And your book is called squint, squint, and you can get it on Amazon, available, Amazon, any other place just on the Amazon.
Margit Novack22:47
Now wherever books are sold, wherever books are sold, and
Ray Loewe22:51
what we'll do is we'll make sure that in our podcast notes, we referenced this so that people can find you. Is there a website that you have, where you share any more of these great ideas that you have?
Margit Novack23:04
there is they can go to MargaretNovak.com. That's ma r g itnovack.com. They can find out more about the book and also some blogs that are interesting, including what to do with those diplomas now that you're no longer working.
Ray Loewe23:26
Okay, I've got to read that one. And yeah, and there's more, we talked about some things in a pre-interview that we're just not going to have time to do. But how to disregard your friend's disapproval, because they don't plan and you do
Margit Novack23:41
None of our friend's plan. And they disapproved of our moving to senior living as well.
Ray Loewe23:48
Yeah. And there's more about the buying tickets. And there's some other great stories in this book. It's really a must-read. And, and I think we all reach this point where we're transitioning from probably a work-life to whatever is next. And who knows whatever is next. But people like Margarit have an idea. They have a sense, they have a direction of what's important to them. And that's what makes her one of the luckiest people in the world. And, Margit, thank you so much for being here.
Margit Novack24:22
And thank you for having me.
Ray Loewe24:24
Thank you so much for introducing me to Margit. She's a total joy and an inspiration and there's incredible wisdom in talking with her so uh, everybody. We'll be back next week with another guest. And Margit. Thanks again for being here. Thank you very much.
Kris Parsons24:43
Thank you for listening to changing the rules, a weekly podcast about people who are living their best life and how you can figure out how to do that too. Join us with your lively host Ray Loewe, better known as the luckiest guy in the world.